Beach, Beach, Beach

Today started with of course my alarm going off several times, and soon after the first alarm, Dexter's tail thumping against the side of the bed. He is usually sweetest in the morning because he hasn't destroyed anything yet and is generally happy to see us. Well, this morning, as I leaned over the side of the bed to pet him, I realized he'd been chewing a chunk off of my bed skirt. I immediately began screaming at him and hit him repeatedly before throwing him outside. Damn it. I then called Joe and left him a message in tears. Yep, that's how my day started.

At work my first order of the day was a performance review with my boss and reading policies. Suck. I then went to the crisis unit and began my tasks. I was assigned to work with a client that hit me yesterday, so I immediately gave her away to someone else. Yes, I finally got assaulted for the first time because I told someone they couldn't use the phone because the doctor would soon be talking to them. That was it. They went from 0 to 100 in about 10 seconds, literally. Thank god I backed up, or I'd have been hit in the face a couple times. Luckily for me it was just in the chest. Whatever. So back to today - it was kind of shit. Of the two clients I primarily worked with, one was super agitated and made all kinds of demands, while the other, delusional as he was, told me he works for the FBI and offered to buy me a car. Amidst this, I was given a friendly, slightly condescending suggestion from a co-worker to begin the crisis unit assessments while I'm working in Admissions over the weekends. Because I'm a big idiot and sit in Admissions doing nothing. Bitch, I was busy in Admissions, and when I wasn't, I was doing my e-training that the agency is requiring me to complete by Friday. You are not my boss, nor are you a decent human being so shut.the.fuck.up. Anyway. Toward the end of the day I saw one of the clients I'd helped admit over the weekend. He was reading a book, so I approached and asked what he was reading. This bled into a conversation of how he felt much better and that I'd actually given him so hope after we talked on Saturday. This guy had attempted to kill himself over the weekend by putting a loaded gun up to his head and pulling the trigger. For whatever reason, it didn't go off, and he ended up at our facility. He's a sweet guy, just down in out, and for him to tell me I gave him hope, makes it all worth it. Of course hope is also dangerous in that if things don't continue to go well, he may blame me. But whatever. I helped someone begin to feel like maybe life is worth living. Sounds corny, but come on, he was ready to blow his brains out two days ago.

Whew. I'm at home now. With Dexter. It's almost 7:30 and it's still in the mid 80's and very humid outside. Uggh. What a time of year to begin trying to jog again (outside of the gym). I'm going to try to give it another hour and then take Dex out with me. And where's Joe you might be wondering? Well, he's still at fucking work. His training calendar, which has been set for a while, has him currently working regular days until June 17 when he is supposed to leave for training until July 1. Of course today they tossed that out, and now he's in some other training that has him at work until 2am and who knows how long for the rest of the unknown duration of it. Also, he may work through the weekend. A SACRED THREE-DAY WEEKEND. I have worked the last two weekends in a row, knowing Joe would have this weekend off, and that we would spend it together. I think that may all be out the window now as well. It really is soul-crushing. No other way to describe the let-down. Also, they recently scrapped a week of his block leave in which we were to go on vacation. LUCKILY, one of his Sgts got him the week of July 5 off, so we are going down to Destin. We're actually booked for Ft. Walton. I'm so excited. I just hope they (Army) don't take it away from us. It's already paid for, so at the very least I'll be going, although to go alone would probably be mildly depressing. For now, though, I'll just let myself be excited.

In less heavy news, I ordered the furminator today off of e-bay. It's a special brush that is supposed to reduce Dex's shedding problems by 90%. Oh hell yes. If only the brush also cured Dex's chewing problems by 90%. Sigh.

Beach in four weeks!

My Days OFF

Yeah, it's pretty much me spending time with this ADD dog and his blanket. He's pretty tame here, but I thought it summed up life together nicely - being sweet and then being naughty with me yelling at him. I was going to post more, but Joe just finally fucking called. Seems that when I have days off, he'll not only work, but work late. Anyway. He's on his way home, so it's my duty to cook something immediately. PISS.

While Joe is in the Can, Let's Talk

My bruise is really shaping up nicely, but unfortunately the pictures I took for this blog post didn't turn out so hot. Ah well.

So it's Wednesday night and the start of my weekend. Yes, I have tomorrow and Friday off. Woot. Today was actually only supposed to be a half day - 8 to 12:30, but I ended up staying until 2:00. Oh well. I was still able to meet up with a friend for a meal and coffee afterward - super fun. Then I hit Target and PetSmart. I dropped 100 bones at PetSmart, and my purchases further underscore how much my dog is pissing me off. I bought some spray called "No Dig," pills that are supposed to keep your dog from eating his own shit (yes, it's a taboo problem we've kept quiet from you), a couple brushes and a lint roller to battle his horrendous shedding, beef hooves to keep his ass busy, and of course food to keep him alive so that he can continue to piss me off. I almost bought a giant pinch collar but realized I need to research that option a bit more. Bah. Dex's currently sitting on the couch next to me doing the doggy moan/whine and farting. It's awful. Ironically, Joe's in the bathroom doing about the same.

That's pretty much been my day. Joe and I have been researching vehicles tonight. I love driving our 12 year old Jap cars, but honestly, something's gotta give. I believe we will be replacing the CRV...with another Honda. The Pilot is looking pretty good. Shitty gas mileage, but that's to be expected with an SUV. We just won't make it our in-town car. I think for now we'll just focus on an opportunity to test drive one and perhaps later in the year make a purchase. Fun.

In other news, Joe did not get into Air Assault School. The school was "overbooked" so to speak with too many folks ahead of Joe. I forget how normal shit operates with the "big Army." Most of Joe's training takes place slightly off the grid. It's organized (sort of), and he doesn't have to wait around since the time frames are actually followed (mostly). Gasp. I guess I really should be thankful for the gig we have here. But let's not get too positive - anywhere in the Army/military has its drawbacks. Idiots. :-)

Also, thanks everyone for the empathy on the part of the last post dealing with my job. I guess we're all working toward something that isn't always attainable..if for no other reason than the machine itself - the process - is fucked. At my job, we herd vulnerable populations of people - abused, neglected, beat down by life - through our facility. We're often suspicious of their motives - they want drugs, want to get out of being in jail, and just generally assume they're lying about things (of course they are, but that's part of the vulnerability - why they need help). I don't know exactly how to make it better, but what we're doing right now makes me feel shitty. I'm not sure I'm cut out for this. I've started thinking more about teaching high school. Teenagers are idiots, but I like them. I really enjoyed working with them at my last job (minus the real psychos who raped other kids). But am I really smart enough to teach anything important in high school? Probably not. I suppose I could do psychology or criminal justice, but who really wants to hire for that with the way the economy is right now? Plus, how do I transition from MSW to teacher? I'm sure in GA, I could just show up. ;-) Sarah, your thoughts?

Anyway. Though it's my weekend, Joe's still gotta go earn his $.30/hr or whatever, so I'd better get ready for bed.

I Wouldn't Make a Good Jump Horse

With all the wild weather we've been having lately, the dog park entrance was flooded the other day. I let Dexter run through it to get in, but I decided to jump over the fence instead. I did this a couple times, having to go outside of the fence for various reasons, and at some point did not quite clear the fence. I bumped the very top of my knee, hitting a good-sized vein/artery/whatever because you could see it immediately bubble up. I got sort of scared, but luckily it just turned into this wicked bruise that actually goes up over the top of my knee. Yeah, and it doesn't even show up that well on here, so this is pretty well worthless. Bah.

Life has been off the chain busy, but still I find myself with little to really talk about. I've worked a good bit. My job actually sucks. I don't believe we are providing any service to the clients, but are instead just consumed with paperwork deadlines and being short-staffed. That said, every day is a race to try to get our shit turned in on time any way possible, and trust me, the clients are suffering. It's sad. The best part of the job is getting to talk to the people you're trying to help (duh), and it ain't happening. We just get 'em in and move 'em out. Community-based tx gone terribly wrong. Although, after some training today, I started thinking about alternative careers anyway. It would have to be nursing or something similar, as there are only a few in-demand jobs with the economy the way it is. Unless you know of something else more fitting...in which case, please, let me know.

We did make it to Missouri over Memorial Day weekend for Janiece's wedding. Everything seemed to go off without a hitch (minus some car repairs - tires - brakes - $300+). The ceremony itself was really nice, and the reception had some good tunes. Best I've heard in quite a while. I just wish it'd lasted longer. Oh well. It was probably for the best, as I went to bed sober and actually got a bit of sleep. I don't think over the course of the trip Joe or myself ever got enough sleep, though, and I think we're still catching up. We were just constantly going - nonstop.

Since being back, I think I've worked every day since. Additionally, Dexter, who behaved beautifully on the trip, has made my life a living hell lately. Seems he lost his mind upon arrival back home as he has pissed on my spare comforter and tore the shit out of my new duvet cover which was still in its packaging and in a plastic bag. Yeah. He ate through it all while Joe was here asleep and I was at work. Also, Dexter destroyed one of the two tomato plants my dad gave me while I was home. I haven't cried yet. But I know it's coming. The duvet cover incident actually sparked a pretty decent fight between Joe and me, which in turn led to positive change. I won't go into details, but basically I turned into the Hulk. Joe ended up understanding why, though, and we were both able to apologize and move on. Good.

What else? Mm. I'm just continuing to work and see my friends occasionally. Joe and I really need to book a damn beach condo for July, but we've both been pretty slack with that. Damn us. Joe's starting Air Assault School this week. Doing wacky stuff out of helicopters. Luckily, it's here, so he doesn't have to travel, though of course he'll be gone for the last half of the month. I forgot what that's even for. I can't keep it all straight anymore. We're getting closer and closer to the main objective. This shit is starting to get real. Ugh. But I'm proud. Definitely proud.

And since this all seems so utterly boring, let me quote my nurse friend from work today who leaned over and said this to me during our training, "This shit's about to put me to sleep."

G'night.