Well, I'm not going to write the next part yet, though I finally do have a computer to use. It's late, and I'm tired. I want to...need to be very present when I write about that. Doing so is cathartic. Also, I feel like I need to vent about things going on currently.
First, as everybody and their cousins knows, we are still at the hospital. We had one particularly unsuccessful day last week followed by several good days, so good in fact that the nurses were starting to ask when our discharge date was. Well, that good stretch didn't last long with Maddie's increase in instances of bradycardia and oxygen desaturation. Blarg. So today the doctor put her back on caffeine, which is a step backwards, but not awful. They use caffeine in preemies to help stimulate their immature systems - meaning it's supposed to help her breathe better. From least intrusive to most in terms of helping breathe is first caffeine, then back on the cannula with room air, then cannula with added oxygen and increased flow, and then after maybe a few more varying degrees of cannula there is the ventilator. The only time Maddie was on the vent was after she started to get a little pneumonia in Mexico. Plus, they would have vented her anyway for travel back to the states; she just already was. Of course when we did get to Atlanta, she extubated herself within an hour...yeah, she ripped her own vent out.
Bottom line is it's not that bad. But that didn't stop me from having a meltdown this morning, almost immediately after my arrival to the NICU. I know that I am still battling pregnancy hormones, and on top of that is everything else. There's a lot of...I guess...sort of emotional trauma. The whole packing for a four day vacation and then being gone...going on six weeks now (except for one night when I went home). Intertwined in that is having my kid two months early. There was a plan in place to come home and do more stuff to get ready, a plan to stay pregnant for the duration, a plan to do everything the best way possible for my baby. Of course, my plans changed. Things happen. Babies come early. But that doesn't mean you just brush it off and are okay with it. When I go home now it's to a house that doesn't seem like mine anymore. It's both a reminder of where we left off, as well as life moving forward without me (and Maddie). Then there's my girl herself. She's having to fight so hard for things that term babies have easy. It's getting better, but my guilt it still there. Though intellectually I know it was out of my control, I still feel very badly that I could not continue to carry her and provide a safe place for her to grow and develop. Finally, there's my off and on issue with seeing women who are late into their pregnancies and my reaction of jealousy and anger because I didn't get to experience the end of pregnancy as they are. Despite all its discomforts, I wanted to get big as hell and proudly carry that baby. Of course I'm happy even to have gotten pregnant and go as far as I did, but my brain was wired for more, something you can't easily undo. It's getting better, though.
And so, we're now operating off of a different plan: My daughter, now a gestational age of 37 weeks and adjusted age of 5+ weeks, continues hospitalization for breathing issues associated with immaturity and reflux. My husband has had to return to work to not use up all of his leave, leaving me in Atlanta by myself. This is his third week being back at work, and he was not able to come up this past weekend due to having had PRK eye surgery (it was already scheduled and his last chance to have it before the Army would no longer approve it). I hate that he's having to go two weeks straight without seeing Maddie. I also hate that he has 24hr staff duty this Friday. Then there's me. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm coming or going. I think I'm often operating largely off adrenaline, and when I slow down I almost can't handle it. I find it best to just go on autopilot. When real emotion does seep through, I can feel on top of the world on a good day, usually when Maddie's doing well. On the bad days, I have to cry and sometimes can't stop. I want us all to be home so badly, but even then I consider what it will be like caring for a preemie and being scared to death something else will happen (kind of glad we're going home with an apnea monitor).
I have no good way to cap off this blog post. Maybe some positives and an attempt at humor? Okay, so one good thing now is that I'm staying with a friend from my South Carolina days, and she and her husband randomly live close to the hospital. It is soooo good to be out of the hotel, and my hosts are really awesome. Also, my baby is cute. I'm not just being bias either, because every nurse, even nurses not assigned to us who have no reason to kiss ass, come up to me and tell me how cute my kid is. More than that, she's a fighter, and I don't think I need to expand on this one. Unfortunately though, she does what she wants on her own time, not Mama's time. However, I like that about her as well. Last, with Joe's eye surgery, I'm looking forward to the savings with no longer having to buy him contacts. Eh? Eh?
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Mexican Baby
Okie Doke. I have attempted to write a blog a few times...but it never comes out right. Or I try to write too much at once. Or I get upset. Etc. Etc. Etc. So here it is:
For those of you who don't know, I ended up having my baby girl two months early while in Mexico (see previous post about the Mexico trip). That is her above - Maddalyn Vera. We arrived in Mexico on 7/29. I had her on 7/31 (still in Mexico). On 8/8, we came back to the states on a private med flight jet - two pilots, three person neonatal team, Maddie, Joe, and me, flying into Atlanta. Upon arrival, we went to what is probably the best children's hospital in Atlanta, where Maddie is currently. She is doing well - very stable. Basically, we're just waiting for her to grow a bit more and for her little body to mature enough to sustain itself away from a hospital. Getting closer and closer. And how did we get here....
By that first evening in Mexico (Friday, 7/29) I had a lot of cramping. Late that night and into the wee hours of the next morning, that "cramping" started to occur at regular intervals. Like just a couple minutes apart. Up to that point I'd been thinking I was just a bit dehydrated and had been lying on my left side and drinking a ton of water. The final straw was having a little bit of bleeding. I told Joe it was time to go to the hospital, and after a brief pow wow with the resort night manager and the resort doctor (who thought I had GI issues that were triggering some uterine activity - uh no), we were on our way to a private Mexican hospital, Hospiten.
During the car ride, I never dreamed I would soon be having my baby. I guess I didn't really know what to think. More than anything, I was just scared that Maddie wasn't okay. Luckily at one point our driver decided to pull up a picture of an alligator he'd seen a few weeks prior on the road we were driving on. He pulled the pic up on his cell phone....while driving...at night...in Mexico. That in itself was kind of scary, but I think it adds to the flavor of the story, no? And for just a second it took our minds off the issue at hand.
After we arrived to Hospiten, we got set up in the ER (the resort doc had let them know we'd be coming). The ER doc, who was good looking and thankfully spoke English, confirmed that I was having contractions. I got hooked up to monitors to check me and the baby, and we spent a restless night in the ER with intermittent sleep and trying to get our insurance worked out. The hospital didn't take Tricare, but it took one of Tricare's sister insurance programs, International SOS. Luckily, they agreed to cover us, so we didn't have to switch hospitals, but it took Joe multiple phone calls and until well after sun up to get all that worked out. Once it was squared away, I was admitted to the hospital.
While I waited for my room to be ready, I met the gynecologist...who didn't speak English, and I really don't remember what all he said (via translation). Something about how I'd be checked later and have ultrasounds. Just before I was to go up to my room, I got wheeled to the bathroom by a nurse named Sergio so I could pee. And that's when the mega bleeding started. From my underwear to the toilet, I was near hysterical at the sight. I remember ripping open the bathroom door, pulling Sergio in and through near sobs, showing him everything. In his broken English, he kept telling me everything was okay. I got back into my wheel chair, and while I cried, Sergio pushed me up to my room, Joe by my side trying to suppress his own fear.
[It's late, so I need to stop here for the night. Joe's taking the computer back to Columbus tomorrow (he has to go back to work), so I'm not sure when I'll get to resume our little story. I'll be staying here in Atlanta...hopefully to be heading home SOON.]
Friday, July 22, 2011
Mama Kate
Well, it's Friday, and this week seems to have flown by somehow. Joe's been working his same stupid long hours, but after he didn't get home until 7pm on Tuesday, anything prior to that is now "early." Still, I was grateful that he was able to make my 2-hr Centering Group appt yesterday, taking me out to lunch afterward. Yay! Oh, and I got a new midwife!!! I really like her and talked to her about the same thing I did with the other one when I was told to "talk to someone." This lady instead told me that pregnancy just does some weird stuff to people, and she didn't seem to think I was having panic attacks. She said my BP differences form week to week were normal and that if it continued after the kid is born, then maybe be evaluated. Hooray. She was much more chill about it, and I have relaxed more about it as well. YES. Also, baby girl was lively with a heart rate of 158. That's a bit higher than usual, but then again she has been more active lately - trying to bust out of my abdomen Aliens style.
We also got to tour the Labor and Delivery unit, which I think everyone should do prior to delivery. Seeing where everything goes down and being able to ask questions about it all certainly takes a bit of the edge off. Also, I think I would like to labor a bit in the new birthing tub they now have. It's really big and nice and CLEAN!! With that, I'm still set to try this the ol' natural way, and I'm officially on track to have a midwife present at the birth (you have to specifically sign up for that, despite who your appts are with). Oh, I also got a note from my midwife about going to Mexico next week, so I should be able to get there and back. It's all coming together.
Wait, have I mentioned on here that Joe and I are going to Mexico next week for a wedding? We are. It should be a good time, as it's at an all inclusive resort (eat, eat, eat), though I'm still a little freaked out about flying this late. I mean, it's not that long of a flight, and the worst I should suffer is a little swelling and having to use the airplane bathroom. Still, I just really, really, REALLY do not want to have something happen and give birth in Mexico...or mid-flight...but I'd rather it be in the air than in Mexico. The online mommy forums indicate lots of folks fly this late or later and outside the country at that with no issue. Plus, my pregnancy has been pretty run of the mill, so I'm really going to try to not freak out too much, and Joe being with me will really help. At the very least, it's a free trip to Mexico, so we need to soak up one last hoo-rah together!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Wah Wah Wah
Well, I'm happy to announce that my neighbor and I are still friends (and thanks for your feedback on how to handle things...glad to read we're all on the same page). Of course I don't think the neighbors and I will ever see eye to eye on how dogs fit in with a family, but I'll just be happy if they continue to keep theirs from breaking out and bothering me. Her husband reinforced the the break-out area with metal stakes, which seems to have worked because I did not see the dogs appear in my garage all weekend, nor did I get a text asking me to check on them. Woohoo. I went over there yesterday to make sure we're still friends, and we are. Apparently the day of the last doggy issue she was also having a bad day at work, which prompted the "take them to the pound" comment. She's a hair dresser, and I guess there was some bitch 21 year old giving her a hard time about her highlights. I dunno.
Speaking of the weekend, Joe's mom was here, and it went pretty well. We probably spent way too much money, eating out all the time, but oh well. We at some good stuff, so it was at least hopefully worth this week being a "poor" week. We also did some baby clothes shopping...well, Janiece did, and I bought a couple maternity things. Between the two days of cleaning leading up to her visit (without Joe's help due to his shitty work hours), and then the visit itself, I was exhausted when she left Sunday afternoon. The one small issue Joe and I had was that Janiece was so excited she seemed to talk nonstop. It was a little overwhelming, and quiet was welcome at the visit's close.
So here it is a new week...I'm actually 30 weeks pregnant today, which is a little scary. It's also Dex's third birthday - yay! The pups and I are just hanging out. I should be doing stuff, but one can only handle so much cleaning, etc, before one wants to eat a gun. I really need to go work out. I miss being able to go in the evenings when I feel at my best, but now Joe's schedule dictates otherwise. Bah. He's of course working out as we speak, and ya know what, I'm tired of hearing about his damn workouts. Why in the hell did he have to choose now to get ripped?? I mean I'm getting bigger by the day, and on top of that, my workouts are falling by the wayside. Gahhhhh. Not to mention he also plays soccer a couple times a week as well. I don't even know how to play soccer, but I sat watching his game yesterday evening with envy for girls on the team and their ability to run freely and kick the shit out of a ball. I want that. Plus, I'm tired of having to use every nasty public bathroom due to everything squishing my bladder. Yeah. And while we're at it, I'd really like to have a fucking drink. Instead, I got to watch Joe and his mom drink G&Ts all weekend. Hopefully this is all worth the sacrifice, and I hear it is. I just really hope that with everything I've given up to keep her healthy and bright, my girl doesn't turn out to be a dumb ass. What a kick in the pants that would be.
PS. Mock pregnancy pics coming soon - think trailer trash prego chick. Gotta have some fun with it, right?
Speaking of the weekend, Joe's mom was here, and it went pretty well. We probably spent way too much money, eating out all the time, but oh well. We at some good stuff, so it was at least hopefully worth this week being a "poor" week. We also did some baby clothes shopping...well, Janiece did, and I bought a couple maternity things. Between the two days of cleaning leading up to her visit (without Joe's help due to his shitty work hours), and then the visit itself, I was exhausted when she left Sunday afternoon. The one small issue Joe and I had was that Janiece was so excited she seemed to talk nonstop. It was a little overwhelming, and quiet was welcome at the visit's close.
So here it is a new week...I'm actually 30 weeks pregnant today, which is a little scary. It's also Dex's third birthday - yay! The pups and I are just hanging out. I should be doing stuff, but one can only handle so much cleaning, etc, before one wants to eat a gun. I really need to go work out. I miss being able to go in the evenings when I feel at my best, but now Joe's schedule dictates otherwise. Bah. He's of course working out as we speak, and ya know what, I'm tired of hearing about his damn workouts. Why in the hell did he have to choose now to get ripped?? I mean I'm getting bigger by the day, and on top of that, my workouts are falling by the wayside. Gahhhhh. Not to mention he also plays soccer a couple times a week as well. I don't even know how to play soccer, but I sat watching his game yesterday evening with envy for girls on the team and their ability to run freely and kick the shit out of a ball. I want that. Plus, I'm tired of having to use every nasty public bathroom due to everything squishing my bladder. Yeah. And while we're at it, I'd really like to have a fucking drink. Instead, I got to watch Joe and his mom drink G&Ts all weekend. Hopefully this is all worth the sacrifice, and I hear it is. I just really hope that with everything I've given up to keep her healthy and bright, my girl doesn't turn out to be a dumb ass. What a kick in the pants that would be.
PS. Mock pregnancy pics coming soon - think trailer trash prego chick. Gotta have some fun with it, right?
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Neighbor Feud? Really?
So I think I've written about my awesome neighbor before...she and her family live right next door, and we've gotten pretty close over the last couple years. She looks out for me a whole lot when Joe is gone, and I try to return the favor, though it's hard for one to do for four what four did for one. Anyhow. We've gotten along quite well. Until now. It's a dog issue, and thankfully, not my dogs. See, in the summer time, they go out to their lake house for the weekend and leave their dogs at home. It's not that big of a deal since they're outside dogs, though I still feel bad that they're totally left behind all the time. Anyway.
The real issue I have is that after they're gone for the weekend, I get a text asking me to check on the dogs...food, water, or if there's a storm, see if the dogs have gotten out (they're afraid of thunder and immediately break out of the gate). It's been every weekend for the last couple weeks. Now, here and there it's not that big of a deal, but lately we are super busy. Plus, not only do I feel like an afterthought when I'm not asked ahead of time, I'm big and pregnant, so I end up asking my husband (whose only free time to do what I need him to get done is on the weekend) to do it. She just assumes we'll be home and able to check on them, and that's starting to grate on me. Also, this past weekend, the dogs came over to our house after a little bit of thunder while we were trying to work in the garage on the damn dresser for our kid's room. We put them back in their pin, and they got right back out. And of course them hanging out in our garage made our dogs go nuts in the house. Can they play together? No, because their male attacks Dexter. No good. So I got pissed off about that but politely let the neighbors know what had happened. After the fact all she really said was sorry and that she's tired of them too. Uh, okay. So we ended up stopping working in our garage because we had to shut the door to keep the dogs out which made it stifling. Whatever, I was pissed, but moved on.
That brings us to today. I was trying to clean the damn house for the mother-in-law visit starting tomorrow, when Dexter started barking toward the garage. I looked out there, and those damn dogs were in my garage (I keep the door open for ventilation on these hot days). One had pulled some trash out (my bag where I dump the vacuum contents) and was eating and spilling it. I was hot about that and went screaming after them, successfully running them off in record time. After I cleaned up the small mess, I texted my neighbor (since she was at work) to let her know. I also tried to call her daughter to let her know. A couple hours later I get the same thing as usual from the neighbor that she's sorry and that she's frustrated too, but then she tells me (via text) to call the pound if they keep bothering me. What?? Dude, I'm not doing that, especially knowing that it's a kill shelter. Fuck man, just take care of your damn dogs! She did send her kids over to clean up...but as it was much later, I already had.
So the texts continued for a bit, where I told her I liked her dogs and did not want them to be killed, so I would not be calling the pound. I also told her I loved the fam and didn't want to seem hateful. I did suggest that she place a free craigslist ad to help find them new homes since that seemed to be her goal...and she has joked about getting rid of them many times in the past. She responded that the dogs would freak out with new owners, and her kids would freak out without the dogs. Again, there was no solution from her end, and I got frustrated, so I wrote back that I guess they'll just have to find a way to keep them. And then I added that we're getting busier and busier and will not be able to continue to check on the dogs every weekend. I even damn apologized for it. She never responded.
There are three key issues for me in this whole situation: 1) I don't like being indebted to people because I feel like there is an underlying expectation for you to be at their beck and call. 2) My dogs are like family, and I cannot imagine leaving them every weekend. 3) She doesn't come up with a solution for her dogs. Just says she's sorry and that she's tired of them too - feels the same way I do. This last one is particularly frustrating because I feel it's a cop out. They are your dogs, so you must be responsible for them and find a way to solve the dog problem. My dogs don't require being checked on every weekend, nor do they break out and bother people. I just expect the same courtesy, and not to be told to "just call the pound." What do you think? Am I wrong here? Or just an asshole? Does it matter that she's done a lot for me in the past, and now I'm not just putting up with the doggy bullshit?
The real issue I have is that after they're gone for the weekend, I get a text asking me to check on the dogs...food, water, or if there's a storm, see if the dogs have gotten out (they're afraid of thunder and immediately break out of the gate). It's been every weekend for the last couple weeks. Now, here and there it's not that big of a deal, but lately we are super busy. Plus, not only do I feel like an afterthought when I'm not asked ahead of time, I'm big and pregnant, so I end up asking my husband (whose only free time to do what I need him to get done is on the weekend) to do it. She just assumes we'll be home and able to check on them, and that's starting to grate on me. Also, this past weekend, the dogs came over to our house after a little bit of thunder while we were trying to work in the garage on the damn dresser for our kid's room. We put them back in their pin, and they got right back out. And of course them hanging out in our garage made our dogs go nuts in the house. Can they play together? No, because their male attacks Dexter. No good. So I got pissed off about that but politely let the neighbors know what had happened. After the fact all she really said was sorry and that she's tired of them too. Uh, okay. So we ended up stopping working in our garage because we had to shut the door to keep the dogs out which made it stifling. Whatever, I was pissed, but moved on.
That brings us to today. I was trying to clean the damn house for the mother-in-law visit starting tomorrow, when Dexter started barking toward the garage. I looked out there, and those damn dogs were in my garage (I keep the door open for ventilation on these hot days). One had pulled some trash out (my bag where I dump the vacuum contents) and was eating and spilling it. I was hot about that and went screaming after them, successfully running them off in record time. After I cleaned up the small mess, I texted my neighbor (since she was at work) to let her know. I also tried to call her daughter to let her know. A couple hours later I get the same thing as usual from the neighbor that she's sorry and that she's frustrated too, but then she tells me (via text) to call the pound if they keep bothering me. What?? Dude, I'm not doing that, especially knowing that it's a kill shelter. Fuck man, just take care of your damn dogs! She did send her kids over to clean up...but as it was much later, I already had.
So the texts continued for a bit, where I told her I liked her dogs and did not want them to be killed, so I would not be calling the pound. I also told her I loved the fam and didn't want to seem hateful. I did suggest that she place a free craigslist ad to help find them new homes since that seemed to be her goal...and she has joked about getting rid of them many times in the past. She responded that the dogs would freak out with new owners, and her kids would freak out without the dogs. Again, there was no solution from her end, and I got frustrated, so I wrote back that I guess they'll just have to find a way to keep them. And then I added that we're getting busier and busier and will not be able to continue to check on the dogs every weekend. I even damn apologized for it. She never responded.
There are three key issues for me in this whole situation: 1) I don't like being indebted to people because I feel like there is an underlying expectation for you to be at their beck and call. 2) My dogs are like family, and I cannot imagine leaving them every weekend. 3) She doesn't come up with a solution for her dogs. Just says she's sorry and that she's tired of them too - feels the same way I do. This last one is particularly frustrating because I feel it's a cop out. They are your dogs, so you must be responsible for them and find a way to solve the dog problem. My dogs don't require being checked on every weekend, nor do they break out and bother people. I just expect the same courtesy, and not to be told to "just call the pound." What do you think? Am I wrong here? Or just an asshole? Does it matter that she's done a lot for me in the past, and now I'm not just putting up with the doggy bullshit?
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Hot Damn [Georgia]
Haha. I enjoyed your comments. And yes, I seemed to have gained a little weight in my uterus, Susan. Weird. The belly is odd, and I'm not sure what prompted me to actually take bare pics of it. I'm still getting used to it. Sometimes I still think I can fit through spaces that I cannot, and I get wedged. Joe watched that happen at Babies R Us. Got stuck between a crib and a changing table. Meh. Maybe I already wrote about that?
Yeah, I've cooled off a little more about the whole midwife/counseling issue. The thing is, I wasn't even freaking out when that stuff happened. One of the times was when we were on our way to the beach - I was happy and excited to be going. Oh well. I wonder if it wasn't a blood sugar thing...because the second time we were on our way to Atlanta, but I snacked on almonds and drank some water and voila. Or maybe I now have subconscious issue with riding in cars? Eh. When I've actually been real bent out of shape and freaking out, crying, etc, I haven't had anything like this. I'm just not going to worry about it.
Dude, it was a steamy damn day here. Heat index well over a hundred, and it's not cooling down. Even now at 11pm, it's apparently 87 but "feels like 96." Of course this was the day I forgot my water bottle while running errands on post. Meh. I managed to still sweat profusely, as I was good and hydrated from lunch, as well as from the 96 oz of water I drank yesterday. I mean, I sweat tons now that I'm this pregnant. Maybe TMI, but my underwear just immediately gets soaked as soon as I step outside - you'd think I'd ran a marathon or something. Sweaty undies ultimately means a sweat mark on my actual shorts, which sucks, but there's nothing I can do about it. I'm not gross. I know I sported an ass sweat mark for most of the day. Whatev. I'm not wearing damn denim in this weather to hide a little ass sweat.
Hmm, I'm actually hesitant to mention the main reason I was on post today...but I will. Jusssst maybe don't tell Dad or Jan. We got on WIC today. That's right. We're now getting assistance from the government. Several of my friends are on it (and they're not disgusting welfare moms with a crack problem). Instead, they are Army wives. The Army doesn't pay that great, and the rationale ultimately (for me) comes down to the fact that if the government uses my husband, then I guess we'll go ahead and use the government. Part of me feels guilty knowing what I used to make when I was working, but you all know my rationale for quitting. And yes, I have thought over and over about the whole "if you can, then do for yourself." But hey, if Joe works a job where it is required he be sent to a war zone, and his pay is still such that he qualifies for assistance, well then I guess I'm alright with getting some free milk and bread out of the deal. I'm at least a responsible person (unlike some of those psych hospital jokers who feel entitled), and it's not forever.
Yeah, I've cooled off a little more about the whole midwife/counseling issue. The thing is, I wasn't even freaking out when that stuff happened. One of the times was when we were on our way to the beach - I was happy and excited to be going. Oh well. I wonder if it wasn't a blood sugar thing...because the second time we were on our way to Atlanta, but I snacked on almonds and drank some water and voila. Or maybe I now have subconscious issue with riding in cars? Eh. When I've actually been real bent out of shape and freaking out, crying, etc, I haven't had anything like this. I'm just not going to worry about it.
Dude, it was a steamy damn day here. Heat index well over a hundred, and it's not cooling down. Even now at 11pm, it's apparently 87 but "feels like 96." Of course this was the day I forgot my water bottle while running errands on post. Meh. I managed to still sweat profusely, as I was good and hydrated from lunch, as well as from the 96 oz of water I drank yesterday. I mean, I sweat tons now that I'm this pregnant. Maybe TMI, but my underwear just immediately gets soaked as soon as I step outside - you'd think I'd ran a marathon or something. Sweaty undies ultimately means a sweat mark on my actual shorts, which sucks, but there's nothing I can do about it. I'm not gross. I know I sported an ass sweat mark for most of the day. Whatev. I'm not wearing damn denim in this weather to hide a little ass sweat.
Hmm, I'm actually hesitant to mention the main reason I was on post today...but I will. Jusssst maybe don't tell Dad or Jan. We got on WIC today. That's right. We're now getting assistance from the government. Several of my friends are on it (and they're not disgusting welfare moms with a crack problem). Instead, they are Army wives. The Army doesn't pay that great, and the rationale ultimately (for me) comes down to the fact that if the government uses my husband, then I guess we'll go ahead and use the government. Part of me feels guilty knowing what I used to make when I was working, but you all know my rationale for quitting. And yes, I have thought over and over about the whole "if you can, then do for yourself." But hey, if Joe works a job where it is required he be sent to a war zone, and his pay is still such that he qualifies for assistance, well then I guess I'm alright with getting some free milk and bread out of the deal. I'm at least a responsible person (unlike some of those psych hospital jokers who feel entitled), and it's not forever.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Head Case
[Pics added after the fact...from a camera phone (sorry for poor quality).]
Post now or post later? I've become a little slack at posting in the evenings because I'm usually too tired, and lately I've been getting Joe to scratch my arm while we both read. But, he won't be home tonight - 24 hour staff duty. Still, I feel like writing now. I guess. Or may be this is just me putting off going to the gym.
The gym. As I've kind of written about before, I do (did?) pregnancy exercise (sets of three) circuits three times a week. My schedule's been a little off lately...pretty much since Joe got back, but it's been not much of anything for the last week and a half. Bleh. Now I'm ready to get back into it, but with these pressure changes in my belly, it's a little scary. I really think it's this girl balling up in there. I've written about it before - sometimes all across the lower part of my belly hardens, but then sometimes it's just on one side with a hard lump (a butt?). It doesn't hurt, but it kind of takes my breath away. Freaks me out. I'm sucking down water now, though, so I will go today. Since I'm in the third trimester now, I think I'll start doing just two sets of my circuit instead of three and maybe walk a little more. Gah, I hate walking on a treadmill, but it's too damn hot to walk outside unless I go at midnight. Oooh, or a yoga dvd maybe??
So it's just me and the pups for the rest of today and tonight. I'll sleep better knowing a 0415 alarm won't be going off in the AM. After it went off this morning, I was up for the next two hours, despite having slept really well over the weekend. And what a weekend it was. I spent a lot of it being pissed off at Joe and him freaking out in response. It was initially sparked by....you guessed it, the xbox. However, I hear it's pretty normal for pregnant ladies to start hating their spouses a bit by the third trimester for really not reason, and honestly, we've all been pretty shocked by my calmness up to this point. Still, I feel like however I act now is going to get me deemed crazy. See, twice or so now I've had these episodes in the car (while Joe drives) when I start getting "swimmy" headed and my pulse kind of goes out of whack. In both instances, I reclined the seat and laid back, taking deep breaths, and after a few minutes I was normal again. I've never had that before, so I mentioned it to my midwife at my last appointment. She immediately suggested it was a panic attack and told me I should talk to someone. Bitch, wasn't I trying to talk to YOU?? I mean before you tell me I need damn counseling, can we not talk for more than two-five minutes?
I'm of course not against counseling, but it pissed me off. When I used to meet with patients, I at least listened to them for a bit before I started throwing around intervention methods. Uggh. Then I found her telling me other things I'd talked to patients about - exercise, sleep, journaling. With that, I tried to insert some humor telling her I'm an MSW and actually worked a psych hospital for a while and that (with all this) I was flashing back to my own patients. Well, she just stared at me and asked if I was opposed. Fine. I went ahead and took her list of counselors, but I'm going to make it my last resort (not rule it out). I feel that if I can get back to exercising regularly and actually sleeping well, my ability to handle every day stressors will be much improved. I plan on actually using some of the Bradley Methods for relaxation for this as well, which of course will be used later when I'm pushing this kid out. Bottom line, I'm not happy about how this was handled by my midwife, who I'd really liked up to that point, and it has made me feel worse, paranoid that I'm crazy (even though I know better). What's up, though, is that she got orders to go to Ft. Bragg, so I'll likely never see her again. So much for continuity in services, but in this situation, I'm okay with that.
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| 28weeks, 6 days |
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| Doesn't it kind of look fake? ;-) |
Post now or post later? I've become a little slack at posting in the evenings because I'm usually too tired, and lately I've been getting Joe to scratch my arm while we both read. But, he won't be home tonight - 24 hour staff duty. Still, I feel like writing now. I guess. Or may be this is just me putting off going to the gym.
The gym. As I've kind of written about before, I do (did?) pregnancy exercise (sets of three) circuits three times a week. My schedule's been a little off lately...pretty much since Joe got back, but it's been not much of anything for the last week and a half. Bleh. Now I'm ready to get back into it, but with these pressure changes in my belly, it's a little scary. I really think it's this girl balling up in there. I've written about it before - sometimes all across the lower part of my belly hardens, but then sometimes it's just on one side with a hard lump (a butt?). It doesn't hurt, but it kind of takes my breath away. Freaks me out. I'm sucking down water now, though, so I will go today. Since I'm in the third trimester now, I think I'll start doing just two sets of my circuit instead of three and maybe walk a little more. Gah, I hate walking on a treadmill, but it's too damn hot to walk outside unless I go at midnight. Oooh, or a yoga dvd maybe??
So it's just me and the pups for the rest of today and tonight. I'll sleep better knowing a 0415 alarm won't be going off in the AM. After it went off this morning, I was up for the next two hours, despite having slept really well over the weekend. And what a weekend it was. I spent a lot of it being pissed off at Joe and him freaking out in response. It was initially sparked by....you guessed it, the xbox. However, I hear it's pretty normal for pregnant ladies to start hating their spouses a bit by the third trimester for really not reason, and honestly, we've all been pretty shocked by my calmness up to this point. Still, I feel like however I act now is going to get me deemed crazy. See, twice or so now I've had these episodes in the car (while Joe drives) when I start getting "swimmy" headed and my pulse kind of goes out of whack. In both instances, I reclined the seat and laid back, taking deep breaths, and after a few minutes I was normal again. I've never had that before, so I mentioned it to my midwife at my last appointment. She immediately suggested it was a panic attack and told me I should talk to someone. Bitch, wasn't I trying to talk to YOU?? I mean before you tell me I need damn counseling, can we not talk for more than two-five minutes?
I'm of course not against counseling, but it pissed me off. When I used to meet with patients, I at least listened to them for a bit before I started throwing around intervention methods. Uggh. Then I found her telling me other things I'd talked to patients about - exercise, sleep, journaling. With that, I tried to insert some humor telling her I'm an MSW and actually worked a psych hospital for a while and that (with all this) I was flashing back to my own patients. Well, she just stared at me and asked if I was opposed. Fine. I went ahead and took her list of counselors, but I'm going to make it my last resort (not rule it out). I feel that if I can get back to exercising regularly and actually sleeping well, my ability to handle every day stressors will be much improved. I plan on actually using some of the Bradley Methods for relaxation for this as well, which of course will be used later when I'm pushing this kid out. Bottom line, I'm not happy about how this was handled by my midwife, who I'd really liked up to that point, and it has made me feel worse, paranoid that I'm crazy (even though I know better). What's up, though, is that she got orders to go to Ft. Bragg, so I'll likely never see her again. So much for continuity in services, but in this situation, I'm okay with that.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Serenity Now
I'm glad today is over. I'd be even more glad if I didn't have to be on post in the morning. Bah. I've pretty much been a zombie today. See, we noticed Lu had a bad limp last night (somehow during her last outing before bed she got injured), so I was worried about her. Then at 0230, after I'd been asleep for just three hours, I had to pee. Upon doing that, I heard Lu-dog moving around and got back up about 0245 to find her down on the ground at the foot of our bed after crawling off her own. Thinking she had to go out, I tried to coax her outside. No dice. Last resort, I had to wake Joe up and have him carry her outside, which he did, and good thing too because she really did have to go. After that, we got back in bed, and I laid her a while since I've stopped sleeping well anyway. At some point after 0300, I knocked my cup of water off my nightstand (shit), half went down my side of the bed and the other half against the wall and baseboards behind the nightstand. Back out of bed, I cleaned up my mess. Then repeat - lay down and try to sleep. Finally, as I was nearing a good sleep, Joe's alarm went off at 0415. Then about an hour later he came in to say bye and give me a kiss. Sometime around 0700 I heard Dex bark in the living room, and then by 0800, I was up to take Lu out on the leash. I then laid back down for a bit before I had to get up to take her to the vet. All in all, I got three straight hours of sleep, and the rest was choppy bullshit. Oh, and I ended up paying over $50 for anti-inflammatories for Lu. She's not even hardly limping anymore. I think she could have feigned a continued injury at least until tomorrow. Gah.
I really don't know what happened the rest of the day. At some point Joe texted me about us having to go to the FRG meeting tonight after all at 1830, which with a soccer game (the first of the season) at 1930, I was pissed. He also reminded me that he needed shin guards for the game, which I'd offered to pick up and had forgotten. So at some point this afternoon, I ran shin guard errands and grocery errands and made it home in time for a small power nap before Joe called at 1635 to tell me he was on his way home. I shot up and into the kitchen, somehow throwing dinner together, which we ate about 1730 before leaving at 1800 to go to post for the stupid meeting. We drove half an hour there, spent half an hour going over scheduling bullshit, and then drove another half hour back into town, racing (I drove) to Joe's soccer game. The game lasted longer than I was told it would (they got smoked by the other time), leaving us to get home about 2115. Good times.
One of the chicks on the team let me know that they have games twice a week - on Wednesdays and Sundays, and then I heard the captain tell them that they'd be practicing on Mondays and Thursdays. I confirmed this with Joe. So. That's four nights a week of soccer, though Joe claims he will not be attending all of it. Still, Joe is already gone (commute + work) a minimum of 11 hours a day, so he's exhausted and never gets enough sleep. Then there's the fact that I am in my third trimester, growing more tired by the day and need a partner who has some time for me and getting baby shit done (not to mention one who has enough time for himself so he doesn't completely lose his mind). The crib came today (yay), and it's still laying in the foyer where I dragged it in the front door. It will stay there until the weekend when Joe has time to help me. Yeah, there's gonna be a meltdown coming. This soccer league lasts six weeks, which is half of the rest of the time I'm going to be pregnant (hopefully). So much for enjoying our last bit of time together pre-baby, as I imagine the last six weeks will be very whale-like and miserable.
To close after all this complaining, let me share this with you: The other day Joe was mocking me and kinda taunting me, jumping around in quick boxer movements as I tried to find an opening (he was blocking) to whack him. I had my hand up, ready to strike when (holy shit), I see Dexter to my right vertically sailing through the air. For that split second he was as tall as me. Where did he land? On Joe. Dex knew who the aggressor was and after landing on him, he promptly bit him in the penis (through his pants - he was clothed). As Joe said, "he had both beans and the frank in his mouth at the same time." It lasted only a second and didn't come close to breaking through cloth or skin, but Joe immediately went down. I laughed so hard that I had to run to the bathroom. It was tremendous.
I really don't know what happened the rest of the day. At some point Joe texted me about us having to go to the FRG meeting tonight after all at 1830, which with a soccer game (the first of the season) at 1930, I was pissed. He also reminded me that he needed shin guards for the game, which I'd offered to pick up and had forgotten. So at some point this afternoon, I ran shin guard errands and grocery errands and made it home in time for a small power nap before Joe called at 1635 to tell me he was on his way home. I shot up and into the kitchen, somehow throwing dinner together, which we ate about 1730 before leaving at 1800 to go to post for the stupid meeting. We drove half an hour there, spent half an hour going over scheduling bullshit, and then drove another half hour back into town, racing (I drove) to Joe's soccer game. The game lasted longer than I was told it would (they got smoked by the other time), leaving us to get home about 2115. Good times.
One of the chicks on the team let me know that they have games twice a week - on Wednesdays and Sundays, and then I heard the captain tell them that they'd be practicing on Mondays and Thursdays. I confirmed this with Joe. So. That's four nights a week of soccer, though Joe claims he will not be attending all of it. Still, Joe is already gone (commute + work) a minimum of 11 hours a day, so he's exhausted and never gets enough sleep. Then there's the fact that I am in my third trimester, growing more tired by the day and need a partner who has some time for me and getting baby shit done (not to mention one who has enough time for himself so he doesn't completely lose his mind). The crib came today (yay), and it's still laying in the foyer where I dragged it in the front door. It will stay there until the weekend when Joe has time to help me. Yeah, there's gonna be a meltdown coming. This soccer league lasts six weeks, which is half of the rest of the time I'm going to be pregnant (hopefully). So much for enjoying our last bit of time together pre-baby, as I imagine the last six weeks will be very whale-like and miserable.
To close after all this complaining, let me share this with you: The other day Joe was mocking me and kinda taunting me, jumping around in quick boxer movements as I tried to find an opening (he was blocking) to whack him. I had my hand up, ready to strike when (holy shit), I see Dexter to my right vertically sailing through the air. For that split second he was as tall as me. Where did he land? On Joe. Dex knew who the aggressor was and after landing on him, he promptly bit him in the penis (through his pants - he was clothed). As Joe said, "he had both beans and the frank in his mouth at the same time." It lasted only a second and didn't come close to breaking through cloth or skin, but Joe immediately went down. I laughed so hard that I had to run to the bathroom. It was tremendous.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Schwetty
It's time to write. I know this because Joe has gone to bed, and that is just what I do now when that happens.
The day has been fairly uneventful. As previously mentioned, Joe left the house a little after 3AM, and I stayed in bed until after 9. It was a big morning of waiting on the cable guy to come and then the bug man. Fun, fun. I got a new bug man after their routes were revised for gas efficiency. Ron had been with us for nearly three years, but I guess we're done now. Just as well because I really didn't feel like having to talk to him about being pregnant. He irritated me sometimes with his dumb advice and talked so friggin' slow that I often wanted to choke him. Now I have an older gentleman aptly named RonNIE who talks fast and works fast. I like the dude. And on his first day he didn't talk to me about having his dog neutered. Excellent.
After I finally knocked out all my morning appts and a long, slightly manic (her, not me) phone call with a friend, I got my ass over to Target for a sleep sack sale. Yes, that's right. Halo Sleep Sacks on sale for $15 (five bucks off). I bought four...and had a $2 off coupon. Booya. My new plan to keep the stress low is to just slowly buy what we need. Sleep Sacks wouldn't be high on the list right now, but they were on sale. Plus, I have 90 days to return them if I need or want to. Win, win.
Soon after my return from Target, I managed to lock myself out of the house with only the spare key to the Maxima. No purse, no money, and no cell phone. I realized it immediately and shot back to the door, peering through its window. The dogs, possibly sensing my mistake, stared back, alert with their ears up. I looked straight into Dexter's eyes and tried to will him to open the door but to no avail. Then I remembered that my bedroom window was likely unlocked. It was, and since I locked myself out into the garage, I had access to its contents including a folding chair, a screw driver, and a blanket. Thankfully I wasn't locked out for long, though I guess I could have driven somewhere to wait until Joe got back from Savannah. Instead I carted my items around back, using the screw driver to pop the screen out and initially pry the window open until I could push it up with my hands. I then laid the blanket on the sill, which I eased myself onto by standing on the chair. It doesn't sound like much, but despite my denial at how big I am sometimes, I am in fact seven months pregnant. Still, both crisis and an ass-busting incident were avoided.
Last, my stepbrother's wife gave birth to their son just a couple hours ago. I got a text of the mama holding the new baby, and as I showed Joe, I found myself saying aloud, "See, I can't wait for that moment." It's good to realize my knee jerk reaction to such a thing is that now instead of what it was four years ago when my stepsister had her son, which was something along the lines of "Glad it's not me, and when is lunch?" Progress.
The day has been fairly uneventful. As previously mentioned, Joe left the house a little after 3AM, and I stayed in bed until after 9. It was a big morning of waiting on the cable guy to come and then the bug man. Fun, fun. I got a new bug man after their routes were revised for gas efficiency. Ron had been with us for nearly three years, but I guess we're done now. Just as well because I really didn't feel like having to talk to him about being pregnant. He irritated me sometimes with his dumb advice and talked so friggin' slow that I often wanted to choke him. Now I have an older gentleman aptly named RonNIE who talks fast and works fast. I like the dude. And on his first day he didn't talk to me about having his dog neutered. Excellent.
After I finally knocked out all my morning appts and a long, slightly manic (her, not me) phone call with a friend, I got my ass over to Target for a sleep sack sale. Yes, that's right. Halo Sleep Sacks on sale for $15 (five bucks off). I bought four...and had a $2 off coupon. Booya. My new plan to keep the stress low is to just slowly buy what we need. Sleep Sacks wouldn't be high on the list right now, but they were on sale. Plus, I have 90 days to return them if I need or want to. Win, win.
Soon after my return from Target, I managed to lock myself out of the house with only the spare key to the Maxima. No purse, no money, and no cell phone. I realized it immediately and shot back to the door, peering through its window. The dogs, possibly sensing my mistake, stared back, alert with their ears up. I looked straight into Dexter's eyes and tried to will him to open the door but to no avail. Then I remembered that my bedroom window was likely unlocked. It was, and since I locked myself out into the garage, I had access to its contents including a folding chair, a screw driver, and a blanket. Thankfully I wasn't locked out for long, though I guess I could have driven somewhere to wait until Joe got back from Savannah. Instead I carted my items around back, using the screw driver to pop the screen out and initially pry the window open until I could push it up with my hands. I then laid the blanket on the sill, which I eased myself onto by standing on the chair. It doesn't sound like much, but despite my denial at how big I am sometimes, I am in fact seven months pregnant. Still, both crisis and an ass-busting incident were avoided.
Last, my stepbrother's wife gave birth to their son just a couple hours ago. I got a text of the mama holding the new baby, and as I showed Joe, I found myself saying aloud, "See, I can't wait for that moment." It's good to realize my knee jerk reaction to such a thing is that now instead of what it was four years ago when my stepsister had her son, which was something along the lines of "Glad it's not me, and when is lunch?" Progress.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Dude, Where's My Cornea?
So I'm laying in bed. We are laying in bed, and I think Joe has already been asleep for over an hour. He has to get up at 0230, as he is being picked up a little after 0300 for a trip to Ft. Stewart (out past Savannah), Ga. He and another dude are heading over there, ass-early apparently, for their PRK eye surgery consultation. Yeah, Joe's getting his eyes fixed on the Army's dime. Woohoo! PRK is different from Lasik...something about they "sand blast" your eye instead of cutting it. That's according to Joe, sooo... From the brief google search I just did, it does say that PRK doesn't involve a flap in the deep corneal layers. I guess that makes sense because Joe also said you can't have the Lasik if you're Airborne qualified due to a previous issue with some dude's cornea blowing back during a jump. Oh Jesus. But good for Joe; I'm glad he's getting something from the Army after several years of hell. Maybe not respect or awards for his tiny rack, but he'll have the gift of sight, damn it!
I read all of your comments (I finally got the email notification thing set up), and my sister posted a response to the soup for you to check out in the comments section - slightly varied from the recipe I did, as what she posted is with shrimp. I did the chicken one. I've had both, and they are delicious. I'll post the chicken one some time when the recipe isn't alllll the way in the kitchen. :-)
As far as the hardening abdomen, I don't think it's contractions or even the pseudo ones either. There's no tightening and releasing. Just a constant brick. I felt her move a heck of a lot today, so maybe she has changed positions...or grew over night. Or maybe my abs are busting up. It's weird. I'm glad I have another doc (midwife appt) next week. Oh, and I need to clarify that my plan is to do the labor and birthing naturally....but I will be in the hospital for it, not at home. For one, the Army midwives don't do home-births, and two, just prior to delivery, I gotta get an IV of antibiotics for that Strep B thing in my urine (or as my mother thought, Hep C). I do NOT have Hep C.
Also, I got a lot of feedback about video games. Sounds like all us gals hate them, and some of us for very, very, very good reasons. When I first met Joe, he was playing World of Warcraft. I know that when he was in college, he'd stay up nights playing that. Though he never kept those hours in my presence, he would occasionally have to run off to do a "raid" or whatever. Many times I had visions of smashing his computer, and more than once I wandered in to give him a sweet hello while he was playing only to slam my hand down on his keyboard and mash a bunch of keys/commands to fuck up his game. :-) It worked too. However, any dreams he had of being a lifelong WOWer were dashed by the Army - no time for such intense gaming. Instead he now only plays his Xbox for an hour or two here and there. It's certainly better than the WOW days, but I still think it's a bit ridiculous. Thankfully, he'll still go outside and cut the grass or trim the tree branches, etc, but I know he doesn't like it nearly as much as shooting dudes in Black Ops. I wish he did, though.
I read all of your comments (I finally got the email notification thing set up), and my sister posted a response to the soup for you to check out in the comments section - slightly varied from the recipe I did, as what she posted is with shrimp. I did the chicken one. I've had both, and they are delicious. I'll post the chicken one some time when the recipe isn't alllll the way in the kitchen. :-)
As far as the hardening abdomen, I don't think it's contractions or even the pseudo ones either. There's no tightening and releasing. Just a constant brick. I felt her move a heck of a lot today, so maybe she has changed positions...or grew over night. Or maybe my abs are busting up. It's weird. I'm glad I have another doc (midwife appt) next week. Oh, and I need to clarify that my plan is to do the labor and birthing naturally....but I will be in the hospital for it, not at home. For one, the Army midwives don't do home-births, and two, just prior to delivery, I gotta get an IV of antibiotics for that Strep B thing in my urine (or as my mother thought, Hep C). I do NOT have Hep C.
Also, I got a lot of feedback about video games. Sounds like all us gals hate them, and some of us for very, very, very good reasons. When I first met Joe, he was playing World of Warcraft. I know that when he was in college, he'd stay up nights playing that. Though he never kept those hours in my presence, he would occasionally have to run off to do a "raid" or whatever. Many times I had visions of smashing his computer, and more than once I wandered in to give him a sweet hello while he was playing only to slam my hand down on his keyboard and mash a bunch of keys/commands to fuck up his game. :-) It worked too. However, any dreams he had of being a lifelong WOWer were dashed by the Army - no time for such intense gaming. Instead he now only plays his Xbox for an hour or two here and there. It's certainly better than the WOW days, but I still think it's a bit ridiculous. Thankfully, he'll still go outside and cut the grass or trim the tree branches, etc, but I know he doesn't like it nearly as much as shooting dudes in Black Ops. I wish he did, though.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Let Me Tell Ya
Okay, so the "Dipe N Wipe" ended up being the disaster I thought it would be. Other than the organizer and the commander's wife (who probably has to come to these things because she's actually a decent FRG leader unlike the last chick), there were four of us plus only two of the five showerees. WHAT.THE.FUCK. The organizer was totally deer in headlights. Never really said anything, not even about the no-shows, and we all just sat around and shot the shit half wondering what was supposed to happen next (which was nothing), eating the food we paid for and brought and then eventually sorting the diapers into five piles. Yes, because even the three assholes who didn't even bother to show up, two of which were wives of an E-6 and E-7, still got loot. And of the four of us regular gals who showed up, three are wives of E-5s and one an E-4 wife. Ain't that some shit?? All in all is was too much work and money for something that was poorly planned and turned out to be a bust. They could have just added a mini baby shower segment on to the next FRG meeting and the results would have been better. Plus, I wouldn't have had to waste a damn Sunday. Oh well. I'm going to be sure and opt out of that nonsense when it rolls around time for me to be a showeree aka after my kid is born. I also don't think strangers, especially wives of lower ranking men, should have to buy me shit. No way.
The rest of Sunday ended up okay after that. Joe still went to soccer practice and apparently somehow drilled himself in the crotch with the ball. I must attend the next practice to watch the insanity. Ha. Today has been good, except for when I finally went to order our crib on Amazon, and it was sold out. That part sucked. But the goodness of the day was in the overcast weather which had mercy on our air conditioner, as well as a shopping trip to Walmart where I found one of the fancy air filters in our odd size (this.never.happens). Seriously, that air filter made my day. I usually have to go to Ace Hardware where they always seem to think I've lost my way and wondered blindly into their store, only to buy a shitty $2.99 air filter that I'm certain doesn't actually filter anything. Yes, Walmart for the first time in a very long time came through for Katie. Of course, they were out of ginger root and the cilantro looked like shit, so I still had to go to Publix for some produce, making a second unintended stop. However, it still beat the hell out of a trip across town to Ace. Hell yeah.
Upon Joe's return home this evening, he saw the "Thai" chicken noodle soup I was making and immediately became a very agreeable helper. Hell, I had no idea he like it that much, but I do now. He stayed in the kitchen with me the whole time, washing dishes after I used them and generally keeping me company. It was very nice. Also lovely is having felt the girl move around quite a bit today. In fact, I feel like she is stretched out just under my belly button. She stays low, and right now it is very hard under there. Harder than it has been previously. Kind of worries me, but I hear that's what happens. Uh, but if this is some symptom for something terrible, please let me know. Kthanks. Last, today is my final day of the 27th week, so I'll be the full 27 weeks tomorrow and starting on the 28th week. Does that make sense? Also, the 28th week, per at least What to Expect When You're Expecting, is the start of the THIRD trimester. Holy cow.
The rest of Sunday ended up okay after that. Joe still went to soccer practice and apparently somehow drilled himself in the crotch with the ball. I must attend the next practice to watch the insanity. Ha. Today has been good, except for when I finally went to order our crib on Amazon, and it was sold out. That part sucked. But the goodness of the day was in the overcast weather which had mercy on our air conditioner, as well as a shopping trip to Walmart where I found one of the fancy air filters in our odd size (this.never.happens). Seriously, that air filter made my day. I usually have to go to Ace Hardware where they always seem to think I've lost my way and wondered blindly into their store, only to buy a shitty $2.99 air filter that I'm certain doesn't actually filter anything. Yes, Walmart for the first time in a very long time came through for Katie. Of course, they were out of ginger root and the cilantro looked like shit, so I still had to go to Publix for some produce, making a second unintended stop. However, it still beat the hell out of a trip across town to Ace. Hell yeah.
Upon Joe's return home this evening, he saw the "Thai" chicken noodle soup I was making and immediately became a very agreeable helper. Hell, I had no idea he like it that much, but I do now. He stayed in the kitchen with me the whole time, washing dishes after I used them and generally keeping me company. It was very nice. Also lovely is having felt the girl move around quite a bit today. In fact, I feel like she is stretched out just under my belly button. She stays low, and right now it is very hard under there. Harder than it has been previously. Kind of worries me, but I hear that's what happens. Uh, but if this is some symptom for something terrible, please let me know. Kthanks. Last, today is my final day of the 27th week, so I'll be the full 27 weeks tomorrow and starting on the 28th week. Does that make sense? Also, the 28th week, per at least What to Expect When You're Expecting, is the start of the THIRD trimester. Holy cow.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Things I am Mad About Currently
1. I am sick of living in fucking Georgia...especially this part of Georgia. It's gross, high crime (seriously, there is a news segment every Monday called "Manhunt Monday" to help find all the fugitives from the weekend), and it's ungodly hot. Sick.of.it.
2. Not being able to do shit. I like being pregnant; I really do. But, I do not like having to depend on others so much. I want to go spray weed killer in a flower bed, but oh....I really shouldn't be doing that. Piss. I want a massive coffee sometimes. Or a gin and tonic. Or to be able to go to Six Flags. Or eat RAW sushi. Or even run a 5k. Or slam some Excedrin Migraine for this headache that Tylenol won't really touch. Damn it.
3. Military hours. Why does my husband have to be gone 50-60 hours a week? I've been there over the course of a normal day, and the time spent at work is NOT used efficiently. They could work hard for a half a day and get the same amount done. It's ridiculous. So he's zombi-fied all damn week and only perks for about one day of the weekend because of his jacked up hours and not sleeping. Also, this design prevents him from having very much "me" time. When he gets it, it is usually subtracted from "us" time. And that takes us to #4.
4. Video games. What the fuck goes on in a dude's head about video games? Really? Well, I should qualify this with it being specific generations of males. This is one of the few ways in which I wish Joe was more like my dad in that he would actually enjoy being outside doing stuff instead of playing fucking Black Ops. I can't fully explain why, but I HATE video games. Maybe it's a jealousy issue. I feel like when I am with Joe nothing can touch my happiness at that time....but that reversed, video games would be a pretty good rival to his time with me.
5. The diaper shower I have to go to today. Yes, this is an FRG. Some kind of "dipe and wipe" for five women, most all of whom have already received a pot of money from soldier donations at the company (including my husband) when their babies were born (yes, an ex post facto baby shower), which means the diapers I bought for this damn things are double dipping. Thankfully one of my friends is a showeree, so I hope she gets what I'm bringing. The things that piss me off the most are one, that this thing is so poorly organized no one really knows how it's working, and we've all had to ask around to figure out exactly what to bring. Second, there's an E6 and an E7 wife being showered at this thing. Uhhh, why the fuck do we have to buy shit for wives whose husband's are making that kind of money?? There is a significant pay jump once you hit E6. And as for the E7 wife, shame on you!! It's Joe's bosses wife!!! The fucking platoon sergeant. Why in the fucking world should lower ranking dudes have to buy shit for you?? Did no one learn a damn thing from Dick Winters: "Never let your men be indebted to you." Maybe that's not the direct quote, but it's the lesson that was intended in that particular scene of Band of Brothers.
So anyway. I have to go to this godforsaken diaper shower in the Georgia heat here in a couple hours while Joe stays home and happily plays video games online with his brothers. Upon my return, he will have to go to soccer practice (because since he has so much free time, he signed up for a rec soccer league!!!), so pretty much Sunday is over. I hate you, Sunday.
2. Not being able to do shit. I like being pregnant; I really do. But, I do not like having to depend on others so much. I want to go spray weed killer in a flower bed, but oh....I really shouldn't be doing that. Piss. I want a massive coffee sometimes. Or a gin and tonic. Or to be able to go to Six Flags. Or eat RAW sushi. Or even run a 5k. Or slam some Excedrin Migraine for this headache that Tylenol won't really touch. Damn it.
3. Military hours. Why does my husband have to be gone 50-60 hours a week? I've been there over the course of a normal day, and the time spent at work is NOT used efficiently. They could work hard for a half a day and get the same amount done. It's ridiculous. So he's zombi-fied all damn week and only perks for about one day of the weekend because of his jacked up hours and not sleeping. Also, this design prevents him from having very much "me" time. When he gets it, it is usually subtracted from "us" time. And that takes us to #4.
4. Video games. What the fuck goes on in a dude's head about video games? Really? Well, I should qualify this with it being specific generations of males. This is one of the few ways in which I wish Joe was more like my dad in that he would actually enjoy being outside doing stuff instead of playing fucking Black Ops. I can't fully explain why, but I HATE video games. Maybe it's a jealousy issue. I feel like when I am with Joe nothing can touch my happiness at that time....but that reversed, video games would be a pretty good rival to his time with me.
5. The diaper shower I have to go to today. Yes, this is an FRG. Some kind of "dipe and wipe" for five women, most all of whom have already received a pot of money from soldier donations at the company (including my husband) when their babies were born (yes, an ex post facto baby shower), which means the diapers I bought for this damn things are double dipping. Thankfully one of my friends is a showeree, so I hope she gets what I'm bringing. The things that piss me off the most are one, that this thing is so poorly organized no one really knows how it's working, and we've all had to ask around to figure out exactly what to bring. Second, there's an E6 and an E7 wife being showered at this thing. Uhhh, why the fuck do we have to buy shit for wives whose husband's are making that kind of money?? There is a significant pay jump once you hit E6. And as for the E7 wife, shame on you!! It's Joe's bosses wife!!! The fucking platoon sergeant. Why in the fucking world should lower ranking dudes have to buy shit for you?? Did no one learn a damn thing from Dick Winters: "Never let your men be indebted to you." Maybe that's not the direct quote, but it's the lesson that was intended in that particular scene of Band of Brothers.
So anyway. I have to go to this godforsaken diaper shower in the Georgia heat here in a couple hours while Joe stays home and happily plays video games online with his brothers. Upon my return, he will have to go to soccer practice (because since he has so much free time, he signed up for a rec soccer league!!!), so pretty much Sunday is over. I hate you, Sunday.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Quick
Damn it. Joe's about to roll over on his back, so I need to hurry up and go to sleep....or finally have a good night's sleep in the other room.
I passed my glucose challenge screening with a score of 88 (I think that's mg/dl or something). Anyway. Dunzo. My urine still shows Strep B bacteria (or whatever) but less this time, so no meds for now - just an IV of antibiotics about four hours before I give birth. Uhhhh. That worries me because my mom had both of us in about four hours. Sure, I may not labor like she did, but the fact is, babies can come quick, even with the first one. I'm now paranoid that I won't get the meds in time and that my kid will be born a mongoloid due to the exposure. Also, I found out the pain on the front of me next to my right rib is in fact my liver being smashed. I guess it happens, but after my appt today, I believe my liver was actually twitching. Gonna ask about that at my next appt in two weeks (they're every two weeks now...getting closer). Last, I got cleared to go to Mexico for a wedding at the end of next month, so long as everything continues to go well. The day we get home I'll be 32 weeks. That's a little nerve-racking, and I have to make sure to find as much bottled water as possible while we're there. Oh lord, don't let me get sick or have my baby in Mexico. Or, as Joe is starting to freak me out with, please don't let us get into a "false taxi cab" and be kidnapped. Shit.
I passed my glucose challenge screening with a score of 88 (I think that's mg/dl or something). Anyway. Dunzo. My urine still shows Strep B bacteria (or whatever) but less this time, so no meds for now - just an IV of antibiotics about four hours before I give birth. Uhhhh. That worries me because my mom had both of us in about four hours. Sure, I may not labor like she did, but the fact is, babies can come quick, even with the first one. I'm now paranoid that I won't get the meds in time and that my kid will be born a mongoloid due to the exposure. Also, I found out the pain on the front of me next to my right rib is in fact my liver being smashed. I guess it happens, but after my appt today, I believe my liver was actually twitching. Gonna ask about that at my next appt in two weeks (they're every two weeks now...getting closer). Last, I got cleared to go to Mexico for a wedding at the end of next month, so long as everything continues to go well. The day we get home I'll be 32 weeks. That's a little nerve-racking, and I have to make sure to find as much bottled water as possible while we're there. Oh lord, don't let me get sick or have my baby in Mexico. Or, as Joe is starting to freak me out with, please don't let us get into a "false taxi cab" and be kidnapped. Shit.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
A Little Bedtime Post
Dear God, let me sleep tonight. The past two nights I have been awake quite a bit when I should have been sleeping. Sometimes pregnant Katie just can't sleep, and that's usually because I have to pee every couple hours throughout the night, so I guess it's more getting BACK to sleep that I have trouble with. But then other times, like last night, Joey Walnuts, rolls over on his back and starts snoring, or randomly sneezes (loudly), or coughs this hacking dry cough. Then, there's the constant loud hum of the air conditioner. It doesn't quite catch up until some point in the middle of the night, and I think the hum is starting to become to me what ticking clocks are to Captain Hook. Makes me want to go a little insane. Of course there's also the obvious with the air conditioner's inabilities in that it gets a little warm in here, which again, wakes me up. Last, when all else is going smoothly, I get a lick on my hand from Lu who once every blue moon has to go potty in the middle of the night. That happened last night...right after I finally fell back asleep. I was ill about it.
So tonight, with my Centering Group (doc/midwife appt) from 9-11 in the AM, followed by a trip to the pool with the girls, I need to get some flipping sleep. And Joey Damn Walnuts needs to roll over and sleep on his stomach. I lonnnnng to sleep on my stomach; it's my favorite. Non-pregnant Joe has the ability to, but never does. The bastard. Not to mention he was laying in the middle of this king bed just moments ago, with me hunched on my side. Had to scoot him.
With that, I have coated my legs and arm pits in my usual baby powder bath (preceded by an actual shower), cetaphil on my face, vaseline on my lips, and mouthguard on my lower teeth. It's time to stuff the spare pillow between my legs and roll over to the left. LIGHTS OUT!
So tonight, with my Centering Group (doc/midwife appt) from 9-11 in the AM, followed by a trip to the pool with the girls, I need to get some flipping sleep. And Joey Damn Walnuts needs to roll over and sleep on his stomach. I lonnnnng to sleep on my stomach; it's my favorite. Non-pregnant Joe has the ability to, but never does. The bastard. Not to mention he was laying in the middle of this king bed just moments ago, with me hunched on my side. Had to scoot him.
With that, I have coated my legs and arm pits in my usual baby powder bath (preceded by an actual shower), cetaphil on my face, vaseline on my lips, and mouthguard on my lower teeth. It's time to stuff the spare pillow between my legs and roll over to the left. LIGHTS OUT!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
No More Suicidal Sundays?
Well, it's been a good weekend. It was a three day weekend for Joe, and somehow it blew by super fast. I'm sad he's going back to work tomorrow. If only he could make money just by being home with me! Not so much. The good part about him going back to work tomorrow is that he didn't have his usual suicidal Sunday dread about returning. (Yay.) Instead, it seems he is almost looking forward to it, and I know that's due largely to the fact that there are some decent dudes in the training room with him. (Uh, I did mention that Joe was being pulled off his team/rotation and being put at a desk in the training room for the last year of his contract since we have a kid coming, didn't I?) At any rate, I am super glad that he's on board with what's going on...so far.
Over the weekend we did quite a bit. Ran mass errands, which nearly killed me. Lunched with friends one day. Worked out. Did nesting/chore stuff at home. Braved about 45 minutes of a little league all star game in the extreme heat. Oh, and it even rained one night! It was amazing considering we're sweltering in a damn drought, although it's not as bad up here as it is in SE Georgia where the fires are. My dad arrived down there Friday, and he'll be there for two weeks working in the efforts to put it out. When he was a younger man, he used to work on the fire line, but now that he's older, he gets to be a bit more in charge of things. By that, he oversees operations to make sure they're being executed properly and inspects them for such. I like that, as he gets to drive around in an air conditioned vehicle from spot to spot. My 57 year old dad doesn't need to be outside nonstop in heat indexes in the 100's and then a fire on top of that. No no no.
To close, I will share a couple decent finds from the weekend, as well as something less pleasant. The little $40 breast pump I had on my registry - I found it new in a sealed box at consignment for $16. Now if it turns out to suck, I really won't have a problem with buying a more expensive one. Yay! I also got another pair of maternity shorts from Kohl's for $15, and a pair of Motherhood pants at Macy's for $20. Woohoo!! That all beats the hell out of me having my one hour Glucose Challenge Screening tomorrow. Oh lord, I hope I pass. Totally shouldn't have baked a cake this weekend, but what are ya gonna do. Hopefully I can get some fast shopping done at the commissary afterward while I ride out my glucose sugar high. Lemons, lemonade.
Over the weekend we did quite a bit. Ran mass errands, which nearly killed me. Lunched with friends one day. Worked out. Did nesting/chore stuff at home. Braved about 45 minutes of a little league all star game in the extreme heat. Oh, and it even rained one night! It was amazing considering we're sweltering in a damn drought, although it's not as bad up here as it is in SE Georgia where the fires are. My dad arrived down there Friday, and he'll be there for two weeks working in the efforts to put it out. When he was a younger man, he used to work on the fire line, but now that he's older, he gets to be a bit more in charge of things. By that, he oversees operations to make sure they're being executed properly and inspects them for such. I like that, as he gets to drive around in an air conditioned vehicle from spot to spot. My 57 year old dad doesn't need to be outside nonstop in heat indexes in the 100's and then a fire on top of that. No no no.
To close, I will share a couple decent finds from the weekend, as well as something less pleasant. The little $40 breast pump I had on my registry - I found it new in a sealed box at consignment for $16. Now if it turns out to suck, I really won't have a problem with buying a more expensive one. Yay! I also got another pair of maternity shorts from Kohl's for $15, and a pair of Motherhood pants at Macy's for $20. Woohoo!! That all beats the hell out of me having my one hour Glucose Challenge Screening tomorrow. Oh lord, I hope I pass. Totally shouldn't have baked a cake this weekend, but what are ya gonna do. Hopefully I can get some fast shopping done at the commissary afterward while I ride out my glucose sugar high. Lemons, lemonade.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Turtle Time
Dexter has taken to laying in our closet. I'm not sure why, but he's in it right now. Just laying there. No doubt sad because Joe is asleep, which will be followed by Joe waking up and going to work. Another long day with only his crappy mom around. Dexter is such an ingrate.
So, I'm less crazy today. I appreciate what everyone wrote, and you were all correct. It is nice to know that others have been in my shoes and felt the same way. It all just gets a little overwhelming, but it is necessary to get it done (well, at least some of it - like the crib, diapers, etc). A girl from high school just gave birth early at 33 weeks. The health issues alone are enough to deal with, much less not having the baby's room set up or lacking other essentials. Eeek. 33 weeks is just 8 weeks away for me.
Alas, though, I woke up feeling better about everything, and low and behold stuff came in the mail from the registry today that Dad and Jan sent me. That happens to me all the damn time - freak out and then come to find that good things were going on behind the scenes all along. I do think I have this weird, or rather I know I have this weird issue where I have it in my head that I will go it alone on things - won't get help and also won't need help. But then secretly I want help. This causes some sort of internal conflict which manifests itself into a small meltdown soon followed by evidence that indeed people are looking out for me. Why can I never be secure in knowing my family will be there for me? Why is it hard for me to admit that I enjoy their support? I don't think I progressed the adolescent stage appropriately as a kid. Eh, I'll social work myself later.
Well anyway. All that aside, I had a good workout today, drank a shit ton of water, and ate well. Joe and I had a good evening together too, and tomorrow's his last work day of the week! To celebrate, we'll be attending an un-medicated childbirth class. Yeah!! (Oh God.)
So, I'm less crazy today. I appreciate what everyone wrote, and you were all correct. It is nice to know that others have been in my shoes and felt the same way. It all just gets a little overwhelming, but it is necessary to get it done (well, at least some of it - like the crib, diapers, etc). A girl from high school just gave birth early at 33 weeks. The health issues alone are enough to deal with, much less not having the baby's room set up or lacking other essentials. Eeek. 33 weeks is just 8 weeks away for me.
Alas, though, I woke up feeling better about everything, and low and behold stuff came in the mail from the registry today that Dad and Jan sent me. That happens to me all the damn time - freak out and then come to find that good things were going on behind the scenes all along. I do think I have this weird, or rather I know I have this weird issue where I have it in my head that I will go it alone on things - won't get help and also won't need help. But then secretly I want help. This causes some sort of internal conflict which manifests itself into a small meltdown soon followed by evidence that indeed people are looking out for me. Why can I never be secure in knowing my family will be there for me? Why is it hard for me to admit that I enjoy their support? I don't think I progressed the adolescent stage appropriately as a kid. Eh, I'll social work myself later.
Well anyway. All that aside, I had a good workout today, drank a shit ton of water, and ate well. Joe and I had a good evening together too, and tomorrow's his last work day of the week! To celebrate, we'll be attending an un-medicated childbirth class. Yeah!! (Oh God.)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Too Much?
As evidenced by my blog, I have been obsessively trying to research necessary baby items for my registries. It has been pretty awesome, actually, and I've thoroughly enjoyed the correspondence with the moms out there. However, tonight it finally hit me how much is needed and then the "Who's going to buy it all?" Well, we're the ones that decided to have a kid, so we should probably be the ones to throw down the cash for it all. But then what are showers for? A shower would be awesome for this, and I hear a lot of folks do it. Hell, I attend them and buy gifts for others, sometimes for folks I don't even know that well. I'm set to have one - a coshower with a friend who is due in late Nov. (two months after me). It's just the shower date is unknown, which I don't want to push since it's a gift and all. I'm scared, though, that it won't be until right before I'm due. Beggars can't be choosers, but I am freaking out that things won't be set up with enough time to breathe...especially if she comes early, and we're not ready. I'm also freaking out that no one's going to get us anything (anything that we need that is - people are definitely getting stuff that they like), and that at the last minute we're gonna be shelling out tons of cash. Isn't that ass-holish of me? To assume that others will help? And really, I guess the bottom line is this: I just need to know what we're gonna have by way of help and what we're not so I can ration out our money for the next few months and make sure we get all we need. Maybe less ass-holish with that? Eh. I've already cried tonight over this shit. Hell, I'm me, and I'm pregnant with my first kid. I'm supposed to be psycho.
With that...ALLLLL that, I'm not going to work on any baby stuff tonight, and instead may actually go to bed early. Getting used to Joe's schedule again is both difficult and infuriating. I swear his time in the Army is taking years off his life. He gets up at 0430 to leave by around 0515. Today he left work at around 1630, but never had time to workout during the day, as he's enrolled in some Microsoft class. Que? So, he hit the gym on the way home and got home a little after six. To get eight hours of sleep, he would have had to go to bed a little more than two hours after he got home. That didn't happen, but hopefully he'll get a solid six hours and be alright.
Okay, enough bitching. Enough, enough, enough. For some reason Joe has Friday off, so that's something to look forward to. Yay.
With that...ALLLLL that, I'm not going to work on any baby stuff tonight, and instead may actually go to bed early. Getting used to Joe's schedule again is both difficult and infuriating. I swear his time in the Army is taking years off his life. He gets up at 0430 to leave by around 0515. Today he left work at around 1630, but never had time to workout during the day, as he's enrolled in some Microsoft class. Que? So, he hit the gym on the way home and got home a little after six. To get eight hours of sleep, he would have had to go to bed a little more than two hours after he got home. That didn't happen, but hopefully he'll get a solid six hours and be alright.
Okay, enough bitching. Enough, enough, enough. For some reason Joe has Friday off, so that's something to look forward to. Yay.
Monday, June 13, 2011
What I Got
So I started to put this in a comment to respond to the other folks, but then I figured I'd just make it into an actual post. Also, the girl is kicking (or something), so it looks like we'll be writing this together. Too cutesy, right? Yeah, I know, but my stomach is literally jumping.
Tina Fey's book, Bossypants - I too want this book....when it comes out in paperback and isn't expensive as hell. Is it out in paperback? Also, I still need to get Chelsea Handler's new book. Definitely need to read about something other than baby stuff while I still can!!!
Registry stuff. Thank you so much to Aimee and Helena for the help!! As Helena said, Aimee, you are the bomb! Let's see....
- Crib sheets - haha, I totally need to register for them. Originally I was looking at an Ikea Crib (which you have to have a special Ikea mattress and sheets for since it isn't standard and that scared me), but I nixed that and am registered for a standard size crib now, which I guess means a standard mattress, which means I can stop being neurotic and just pick out some sheets already!! Five sets sounds good to me.
- Breast Pump - I have thought about this and read in my Baby Bargains book about it and online. I figure since I'm not working, I really don't need the big mack daddy pump I was looking at. Me and my boobs will be at home with baby. The mini electric pumps didn't get good reviews, but a couple of the small manual ones did. I figured that'd be a good starting point. One in particular - the one I registered for on Target - while some people hated it, others said it was great and even better than their electric pumps. It pumps quickly and easily for a manual pump too. Allegedly. However, should it suck, then I will move on to an electric pump. Figure I'll make the $40 mistake first.
- I have a Boppy I got at consignment for $14. I also got a Bumbo seat with tray for $25 off Craigslist, along with my highly ranked (Consumer Reports) Chicco Keyfit Carseat with base in excellent condition for $65. Woohoo! :-)
- I have samples of Boudreaux's Butt Paste and coupons for more. Need to pick that stuff out still, along with what bathing/shampoo/conditioner stuff to get. Any ideas on that stuff?
- I would like the wrap and the carrier but just haven't looked into them yet. Aimee, I watched you reach out to folks on FB for opinions on the wraps and made mental notes. I want to read more about the Moby, but I've heard lots of good things. Need to look into the carrier as well...they have a lot of Infantino ones at my consignment shop. They just always look too complicated, so I walk away. Ahhh.
- Avent (anti colic) 9 oz bottles are on my Target registry. It said they were for after the first month, and I'm really going to try to not use bottles until six weeks or so (nipple confusion).
- Totally need to register for a monitor. Oops. Good call.
- White noise machine - Because I am insane, I already have one...for myself. Yes, I sleep with a box fan on high, and sometimes have to simultaneously have the white noise on too. If she needs my white noise machine, I suppose I can share, but I really hope she doesn't end up like me, which is why I'm hesitant to start at all.
- My sister may be giving me a pack n' play, but I've also registered on Target for the Fisher Price Newborn Rock N' Hammock. Or whatever the hell it's called. A friend has it and says it's great. Also, the reviews are nothing but good. I know I say this now, and it may change.....but the plan for when she's first born is to put her whole big crib in our room (to be moved in her room across the hall after a couple weeks) That way she's close but can get used to sleeping in it. There's a twin bed in her room too, so I can sleep in there a bit if need be. The hammock will be for naps in the living room or a trip. We'll see what actually happens.
- For the burp towels, I registered for the prefold diapers. Heard they worked well for that...and afterward make great car-washing towels. Yes yes.
- Wipes - I'm still looking into something reusable, at least for while she's still breastfeeding. Probably should register for some disposable ones for the diaper bag, though. Oh, and a diaper bag. Any suggestions on a diaper bag?
- Baby bath tub - another thing I've slacked on. Probably will pick one up from the consignment shop. They always have several. I'm anticipating the sink at first, though....with my mother's help. :-)
Whew. Awesome. I feel organized. YEAH! And thank you again for the help/suggestions. Anything else ya got, shoot my way. I'm really loving learning about all this!
Tina Fey's book, Bossypants - I too want this book....when it comes out in paperback and isn't expensive as hell. Is it out in paperback? Also, I still need to get Chelsea Handler's new book. Definitely need to read about something other than baby stuff while I still can!!!
Registry stuff. Thank you so much to Aimee and Helena for the help!! As Helena said, Aimee, you are the bomb! Let's see....
- Crib sheets - haha, I totally need to register for them. Originally I was looking at an Ikea Crib (which you have to have a special Ikea mattress and sheets for since it isn't standard and that scared me), but I nixed that and am registered for a standard size crib now, which I guess means a standard mattress, which means I can stop being neurotic and just pick out some sheets already!! Five sets sounds good to me.
- Breast Pump - I have thought about this and read in my Baby Bargains book about it and online. I figure since I'm not working, I really don't need the big mack daddy pump I was looking at. Me and my boobs will be at home with baby. The mini electric pumps didn't get good reviews, but a couple of the small manual ones did. I figured that'd be a good starting point. One in particular - the one I registered for on Target - while some people hated it, others said it was great and even better than their electric pumps. It pumps quickly and easily for a manual pump too. Allegedly. However, should it suck, then I will move on to an electric pump. Figure I'll make the $40 mistake first.
- I have a Boppy I got at consignment for $14. I also got a Bumbo seat with tray for $25 off Craigslist, along with my highly ranked (Consumer Reports) Chicco Keyfit Carseat with base in excellent condition for $65. Woohoo! :-)
- I have samples of Boudreaux's Butt Paste and coupons for more. Need to pick that stuff out still, along with what bathing/shampoo/conditioner stuff to get. Any ideas on that stuff?
- I would like the wrap and the carrier but just haven't looked into them yet. Aimee, I watched you reach out to folks on FB for opinions on the wraps and made mental notes. I want to read more about the Moby, but I've heard lots of good things. Need to look into the carrier as well...they have a lot of Infantino ones at my consignment shop. They just always look too complicated, so I walk away. Ahhh.
- Avent (anti colic) 9 oz bottles are on my Target registry. It said they were for after the first month, and I'm really going to try to not use bottles until six weeks or so (nipple confusion).
- Totally need to register for a monitor. Oops. Good call.
- White noise machine - Because I am insane, I already have one...for myself. Yes, I sleep with a box fan on high, and sometimes have to simultaneously have the white noise on too. If she needs my white noise machine, I suppose I can share, but I really hope she doesn't end up like me, which is why I'm hesitant to start at all.
- My sister may be giving me a pack n' play, but I've also registered on Target for the Fisher Price Newborn Rock N' Hammock. Or whatever the hell it's called. A friend has it and says it's great. Also, the reviews are nothing but good. I know I say this now, and it may change.....but the plan for when she's first born is to put her whole big crib in our room (to be moved in her room across the hall after a couple weeks) That way she's close but can get used to sleeping in it. There's a twin bed in her room too, so I can sleep in there a bit if need be. The hammock will be for naps in the living room or a trip. We'll see what actually happens.
- For the burp towels, I registered for the prefold diapers. Heard they worked well for that...and afterward make great car-washing towels. Yes yes.
- Wipes - I'm still looking into something reusable, at least for while she's still breastfeeding. Probably should register for some disposable ones for the diaper bag, though. Oh, and a diaper bag. Any suggestions on a diaper bag?
- Baby bath tub - another thing I've slacked on. Probably will pick one up from the consignment shop. They always have several. I'm anticipating the sink at first, though....with my mother's help. :-)
Whew. Awesome. I feel organized. YEAH! And thank you again for the help/suggestions. Anything else ya got, shoot my way. I'm really loving learning about all this!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Goodbye Leave, Hello Reality
Well, I'm finally back on here, which means Joe is already asleep, which means he has to get up at 0430 for work tomorrow. Meh. Time to get back to real life I guess. It's been fun, though. The beach was a pretty good time, despite issues with the hotel. Always something, though we're still a safe distance from the Griswold end of the spectrum. At home we've (he has) worked hard on little house projects, and truthfully, a lot of stuff has gotten done, including working on the baby's room - mainly the closet, which was emptied of ALL its Army contents (whoa). We even (together) researched stuff in our baby bargains book and online for our registry and have a lot of that put together. Uh, if anyone that knows what they're doing wants to look up my registry on Target or Babies R Us and tell me anything else I might need, that'd be a-ok. It's a work in progress.
Ya know this thing is very real now. Winding down the end of the sixth month, and I feel her all the time. I like it. A lot. Even starting to be less scared and more excited about when she'll actually be here. I'm starting to feel like my life won't be completely over. :-)
A while back, before we knew we were having a girl, I read Tina Fey's prayer for her kid, which a fellow blogger had posted. It has stuck with me (haunting me?), and I continue to think over it now that I know we'll be having a daughter. Indeed, may she hit a rough patch. :-) Joe and I added to the prayer during our drive home from Florida. Things like may she not be a whore or end up a teen mom (no offense), have self esteem and not date assholes, not be a dumb ass, etc, as well as things a little more intense like not be kidnapped and sold into human trafficking. Eeeeeek. How do parents gradually let go? I'll be scared as hell. Shoot, I already am, and I've not yet birthed her. Xanax. Yes, please!
Ya know this thing is very real now. Winding down the end of the sixth month, and I feel her all the time. I like it. A lot. Even starting to be less scared and more excited about when she'll actually be here. I'm starting to feel like my life won't be completely over. :-)
A while back, before we knew we were having a girl, I read Tina Fey's prayer for her kid, which a fellow blogger had posted. It has stuck with me (haunting me?), and I continue to think over it now that I know we'll be having a daughter. Indeed, may she hit a rough patch. :-) Joe and I added to the prayer during our drive home from Florida. Things like may she not be a whore or end up a teen mom (no offense), have self esteem and not date assholes, not be a dumb ass, etc, as well as things a little more intense like not be kidnapped and sold into human trafficking. Eeeeeek. How do parents gradually let go? I'll be scared as hell. Shoot, I already am, and I've not yet birthed her. Xanax. Yes, please!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Straight to Hell, Boy
Dude, damn it. I even finished the last post with "Knock on wood." Turns out that Joe started chewing while deployed and has been chewing discretely since he got back. He made it seem as though he only opened a can at the end and then brought the can home with him just to finish off. And then that would be it. No more. After I realized he was still chewing this morning, I let him know no more and even had an intervention of sorts on Facebook. He actually appreciated that and wasn't mad. Uhhhh, then as the evening progressed and the last of his dip wore off, so did the fantastic and helpful mood he's been sporting since he got home.
OH.MY.GAHHHHH. He was basically trying to pick a fight with me and taking everything I said the wrong f'ing way. (Who's the pregnant chick??) There was even a massive freak due to the fish not grilling correctly for dinner. Somehow I stayed calm and did my own thing. He came to me after doing some research on nicotine withdrawal and apologized for acting an ass. Seems that the next few days are going to suck for everyone. Good thing he didn't quit before he came back. Welcome fucking home.
OH.MY.GAHHHHH. He was basically trying to pick a fight with me and taking everything I said the wrong f'ing way. (Who's the pregnant chick??) There was even a massive freak due to the fish not grilling correctly for dinner. Somehow I stayed calm and did my own thing. He came to me after doing some research on nicotine withdrawal and apologized for acting an ass. Seems that the next few days are going to suck for everyone. Good thing he didn't quit before he came back. Welcome fucking home.
My Boyfriend's Back, And You're Gonna Be in Trouble
Here it is Tuesday afternoon already. Joe got back Thursday night, and we had a nice four day weekend together before he had to return to work today. Picking him up was great as always. Not like what you see on TV, but still good. I baked some cookies for the guys, and other folks prepared some goodies as well. We had a nice spread. The guys were really tired, but most seemed to appreciate it. We waited at the company for everyone to show up after unloading their pallets, etc. I swear Joe is always the last guy to walk in. I sat there and watched all the other dudes trickle in. Finally, he walked in! He seemed bigger (not in the fat sense) and taller than I remembered, and he looked gooooood in his uniform. Of course, as we closed in on each other, at about a foot or two apart the 1Sgt decided to stop him and give him instruction. ARE YOU KIDDING ME, DUDE??? Wait two seconds for us to hug. I watched the commander do the same thing to a friend of mine and her husband as well. Definitely not like you see on TV. Ah well.
It's been really good to have him back, as he's been waiting on me hand and foot. I really didn't expect that. I'll say I'm going to go do something - let the dogs in or shut the garage door, and he jumps up before I can do it. It's crazy. I mean - I prepped him pretty well for the homecoming and that I would need his help with stuff....I just didn't think he'd take to it so well so quickly. I hope it lasts. Our weekend was pretty chill. I swear all we did was eat and spend money. I forget how much more expensive life is when he's home. I should know that when he returns I need to just go ahead and set aside about $500 to burn through immediately. Oh well.
The best part of our weekend was going in for an ultrasound together. So surreal that he was actually there for it. It happened so fast. It seems as soon as I lifted my shirt up, the kid was on the screen. I tried to watch Joe's face (as well as the rise and fall of his chest to make sure he kept breathing). I reached over and grabbed his hand, and his eyes barely left the screen. I remember the first ultrasound, and it took my breath away. On top of this "first" for Joe, we found out that it is a girl! I had a little caffeine before we left, and baby girl was kicking all around and putting hands to face. I'd been feeling questionable flutters for a few weeks now but after watching the screen and matching it to what I was feeling, especially when she let loose a massive ninja kick, I realized I have definitely been feeling her. I don't feel all of her movements, but the big ones I do. The day after our ultrasound, I actually saw my stomach move for the first time, and Joe was able to feel her! I didn't think that would happen for a while, but there we were. Very cool.
So now he's at work for the next few days until Memorial weekend begins, along with our leave (and beach trip). I'm trying like hell to get through his laundry today and get things picked back up a bit. I want shit to be put away, so we can enjoy leave and also start planning on what baby stuff we need/want as well as where everything is going to fit. Joe Joe's got work to do. Now if only I could sip on a little umbrella drink while I watched. :-)
OH. That reminds me. Joe has returned in quite good shape...as in, I got distracted by him when we were at the gym together over the weekend. Ended up messing up my circuit. But good lord, he was doing these pull ups and then immediately going into this parallel (to the ground) position, and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Baby boy looks goooood. Very toned and eating well, which is a little weird for me, as I'm getting bigger and bigger and sometimes have to have ice cream or doritos. Oops. Anyway. I need to go check the laundry before it's a 100 degrees outside and too hot to do anymore until evening. Life is good!!! (Knock on wood.)
It's been really good to have him back, as he's been waiting on me hand and foot. I really didn't expect that. I'll say I'm going to go do something - let the dogs in or shut the garage door, and he jumps up before I can do it. It's crazy. I mean - I prepped him pretty well for the homecoming and that I would need his help with stuff....I just didn't think he'd take to it so well so quickly. I hope it lasts. Our weekend was pretty chill. I swear all we did was eat and spend money. I forget how much more expensive life is when he's home. I should know that when he returns I need to just go ahead and set aside about $500 to burn through immediately. Oh well.
The best part of our weekend was going in for an ultrasound together. So surreal that he was actually there for it. It happened so fast. It seems as soon as I lifted my shirt up, the kid was on the screen. I tried to watch Joe's face (as well as the rise and fall of his chest to make sure he kept breathing). I reached over and grabbed his hand, and his eyes barely left the screen. I remember the first ultrasound, and it took my breath away. On top of this "first" for Joe, we found out that it is a girl! I had a little caffeine before we left, and baby girl was kicking all around and putting hands to face. I'd been feeling questionable flutters for a few weeks now but after watching the screen and matching it to what I was feeling, especially when she let loose a massive ninja kick, I realized I have definitely been feeling her. I don't feel all of her movements, but the big ones I do. The day after our ultrasound, I actually saw my stomach move for the first time, and Joe was able to feel her! I didn't think that would happen for a while, but there we were. Very cool.
So now he's at work for the next few days until Memorial weekend begins, along with our leave (and beach trip). I'm trying like hell to get through his laundry today and get things picked back up a bit. I want shit to be put away, so we can enjoy leave and also start planning on what baby stuff we need/want as well as where everything is going to fit. Joe Joe's got work to do. Now if only I could sip on a little umbrella drink while I watched. :-)
OH. That reminds me. Joe has returned in quite good shape...as in, I got distracted by him when we were at the gym together over the weekend. Ended up messing up my circuit. But good lord, he was doing these pull ups and then immediately going into this parallel (to the ground) position, and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Baby boy looks goooood. Very toned and eating well, which is a little weird for me, as I'm getting bigger and bigger and sometimes have to have ice cream or doritos. Oops. Anyway. I need to go check the laundry before it's a 100 degrees outside and too hot to do anymore until evening. Life is good!!! (Knock on wood.)
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
The Five Finger (Toe?) Shoes and other Foot Stuff
Yeah, those damn shoes. Joe claims to have talked to many people and gotten positive feedback. Meanwhile, I've made efforts to find out who those people are and undermine them. Seriously. I did with one. Not enough, though. I'm not sure if Joe wants to run in them, as it sounds more like he just wants to do his workouts in them, the mechanics of which he described in detail...uh, I don't remember. He said that in his disgusting military gym in the middle of Afghanistan, he has been TAKING HIS SHOES OFF AND DOING HIS WORKOUTS BAREFOOT to get whatever effect those shoes are supposed to give. I gagged when I heard this and began to anticipate him infecting our shower with plantar warts that I will have to have frozen off just like in high school when one of my sister's swimmer's friends infected our shower. (Deep breath.)
As for the running, I just ordered him some new NB 993s that he always wears, and those are not cheap. He better run in those. Now, the only way I might be able to get on board with the Five Toe things are 1) if he makes me feel guilty that I'm denying a dude who (at that point) is just back from deployment or 2) if he looks just so delicious that I don't care what he needs to keep working out. Word on the street is that Joe got obsessed with the Starz show "Spartacus" and looked up the workouts those dudes do, and thus has been doing the Spartacus workout. I watched the prequel to the series (with many of the same dudes), and holy shit, are they ripped!! We'll see what comes home to me. :-) If nothing else I can always pull the "babies are expensive card" and likely shut it down with that.
Speaking again of this pregnancy (hey, I'm not being annoying and cutesy, telling you my kid is the size of a banana now, which he/she is)... Anyway. So my feet hurt. They hurt like they do after a full day of walking around an amusement park or something. I noticed this today at the START of my workout. Now, I have been on my feet a lot more the last 3-4 days cleaning, baking, and generally running around like a mad woman. But, I also know that my hormones are causing my ligaments, including those in my feet, to relax and soften so to speak. Basically, what I'm asking here is, are my feet just going to suck until the fall, or do I need new walking shoes? Or both. Also, I heard some old wives tale about foot rubs inducing labor, and I'm anticipating foot rubs galore when Joe gets back. Is that a no go? Is a foot rub going to shoot me into labor and then five months of bed rest? Help me.
As for the running, I just ordered him some new NB 993s that he always wears, and those are not cheap. He better run in those. Now, the only way I might be able to get on board with the Five Toe things are 1) if he makes me feel guilty that I'm denying a dude who (at that point) is just back from deployment or 2) if he looks just so delicious that I don't care what he needs to keep working out. Word on the street is that Joe got obsessed with the Starz show "Spartacus" and looked up the workouts those dudes do, and thus has been doing the Spartacus workout. I watched the prequel to the series (with many of the same dudes), and holy shit, are they ripped!! We'll see what comes home to me. :-) If nothing else I can always pull the "babies are expensive card" and likely shut it down with that.
Speaking again of this pregnancy (hey, I'm not being annoying and cutesy, telling you my kid is the size of a banana now, which he/she is)... Anyway. So my feet hurt. They hurt like they do after a full day of walking around an amusement park or something. I noticed this today at the START of my workout. Now, I have been on my feet a lot more the last 3-4 days cleaning, baking, and generally running around like a mad woman. But, I also know that my hormones are causing my ligaments, including those in my feet, to relax and soften so to speak. Basically, what I'm asking here is, are my feet just going to suck until the fall, or do I need new walking shoes? Or both. Also, I heard some old wives tale about foot rubs inducing labor, and I'm anticipating foot rubs galore when Joe gets back. Is that a no go? Is a foot rub going to shoot me into labor and then five months of bed rest? Help me.
Sir, I'm Going to Need You to Winnie
Okay, this is going to be quick because I need to go to bed before it's close to 1AM...have not been able to get to sleep lately...and then I suck at getting up in the morning because of it. Vicious.
Uh, bring on the prego talk. I cannot seem to get full lately. I'll eat, then have a little more, then wait and have a little more. And I could probably eat forever, but I cut it off. Also, I think I'm finally starting to get a teensy bit or heartburn, so that makes it weird.
My house is way clean right now. It's not totally done, but all I can think of is why I haven't been keeping up with it until now? Well, it's because depression is real I suppose. When there's a big piece of your life missing, all the little bullshit like mopping the kitchen seems dumb. At least that's how it's been for me. Turning that around now, which is now causing OCD in that everything must return to its place!!!!
Tomorrow my girlfriend and I are going to Olive Garden. I remembered I have gift cards from Christmas, so WOOT!! Last time we went to OG, Joe almost lost his mind over how few shrimp he got on his entree, but what do you expect it's a chain. They weigh and count that shit to make sure they're saving every dime possible. Needless to say I don't think he'll be mad that I use our gift cards. Plus we have to celebrate his birthday (last month) with SUSHI!!! Baby boy is now as old as I am. And wants five finger toe whatever shoes that I am trying very hard to talk him out of. Let's spend that money on another nice meal...or that lobster mac and cheese I want to order from Maine!! Yes. Goodbye, Tuesday. Hello beautiful Wednesday. xoxox.
Uh, bring on the prego talk. I cannot seem to get full lately. I'll eat, then have a little more, then wait and have a little more. And I could probably eat forever, but I cut it off. Also, I think I'm finally starting to get a teensy bit or heartburn, so that makes it weird.
My house is way clean right now. It's not totally done, but all I can think of is why I haven't been keeping up with it until now? Well, it's because depression is real I suppose. When there's a big piece of your life missing, all the little bullshit like mopping the kitchen seems dumb. At least that's how it's been for me. Turning that around now, which is now causing OCD in that everything must return to its place!!!!
Tomorrow my girlfriend and I are going to Olive Garden. I remembered I have gift cards from Christmas, so WOOT!! Last time we went to OG, Joe almost lost his mind over how few shrimp he got on his entree, but what do you expect it's a chain. They weigh and count that shit to make sure they're saving every dime possible. Needless to say I don't think he'll be mad that I use our gift cards. Plus we have to celebrate his birthday (last month) with SUSHI!!! Baby boy is now as old as I am. And wants five finger toe whatever shoes that I am trying very hard to talk him out of. Let's spend that money on another nice meal...or that lobster mac and cheese I want to order from Maine!! Yes. Goodbye, Tuesday. Hello beautiful Wednesday. xoxox.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Serenity NOW!
Twas nearing the end of Joe's absence, when all up in this bitch
Shit was going crazy, and I started to twitch.
My dress was in the closet, hung in the corner up high
In the hopes that Lu would stop sniffing it every time she walked by.
The pups were brushed and wiped down all shiny,
But nothing could be done about them licking their hinies.
And me with my new haircut and ever growing waist
Was hustling around this house, cleaning with haste!!!!
Yeah, that's kind of a long short story/poem to parody in its entirety. You get it, though. I could not get into bed (where I am currently) fast enough tonight. My feet and back ache. I have been up on the move all day, sorting, cleaning, washing, hauling away, etc, etc. I am determined to have things squared away before the last minute...instead of leaving it all until then like I usually do. Thankfully amidst all this, the weather has cooled off. Tomorrow, it's only supposed to be about 70, so I'm going to clean a little more and get some baking done. I refuse to turn on the oven when it's burning hot outside, so tomorrow will be perfect. It's also a work out day, so a trip to the gym is on the schedule, and since my new bra ripped in the washer, I need to go by the tailor... Uh, and I gotta make sure I eat since I'm a bottomless pit all the time now. And then maybe, just maybe, there will come a point where everything is shiny and clean and will only need maintained. Then I can relax again. Yes, I must never let Joe see behind the curtain.
Shit was going crazy, and I started to twitch.
My dress was in the closet, hung in the corner up high
In the hopes that Lu would stop sniffing it every time she walked by.
The pups were brushed and wiped down all shiny,
But nothing could be done about them licking their hinies.
And me with my new haircut and ever growing waist
Was hustling around this house, cleaning with haste!!!!
Yeah, that's kind of a long short story/poem to parody in its entirety. You get it, though. I could not get into bed (where I am currently) fast enough tonight. My feet and back ache. I have been up on the move all day, sorting, cleaning, washing, hauling away, etc, etc. I am determined to have things squared away before the last minute...instead of leaving it all until then like I usually do. Thankfully amidst all this, the weather has cooled off. Tomorrow, it's only supposed to be about 70, so I'm going to clean a little more and get some baking done. I refuse to turn on the oven when it's burning hot outside, so tomorrow will be perfect. It's also a work out day, so a trip to the gym is on the schedule, and since my new bra ripped in the washer, I need to go by the tailor... Uh, and I gotta make sure I eat since I'm a bottomless pit all the time now. And then maybe, just maybe, there will come a point where everything is shiny and clean and will only need maintained. Then I can relax again. Yes, I must never let Joe see behind the curtain.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Mixed Tapes and Maxi Dresses
"Are you to the point in your relationship that you can give each other a mixed tape?" There's a long standing joke between Joe and I about this question. I guess his mom asked him this once when he was in a relationship prior to our own, and one day he asked me the same question to jokingly gauge our seriousness. And it was funny. But in this context, what I'm trying to say here is that I'm to the point in our deployment that I can buy my homecoming dress. And I did. It's this one:
The website shows it being part of the plus-sized maternity dresses....but mine isn't. Regardless, I look better in it than this chick, maybe because I actually look pregnant, and it hugs my prego curves just right. Now if I can just get a $9 pair of sandals from Kohl's, I'll be set. I think black over white with this dress, yes?
I think I am starting to finally feel this baby move some. Like the books say, itt does feel like flutters or gas bubbles. I'm not always certain which it is, but I'm confident it's more baby than gas. Well, sometimes. Apparently, per Facebook and my damn husband, gas is a weird thing for me to mention in light of baby movement. BUT HELLO??!! I am going to turn that man's world upside down here pretty soon. I've tried to prepare him for the changes, but I think he's in for more than he's bargaining for. We'll see how it goes.
Not much else is going on. Lu and I are laying on my bed watching the Travel Channel, as it pertains to food right now. I was supposed to go work out, but then the weather turned a bit ugly with some storms rolling through, hence why Lu is allowed on my bed. Maybe we'll just chill, and I'll go three days off from the gym. Damn it. I've been SO good.
Speaking of the days, another week is drawing to a close, and boy did it seem to go fast. Tomorrow I'm meeting up with a friend, and hopefully with intermittent plans and shopping (eek), the days will continue to go by quickly. I'm excited. I can't wait to see Joe, and I can't wait for him to see me. Even if he does make jokes on Facebook about having a girlfriend. That's the douche that I miss and love.
I think I am starting to finally feel this baby move some. Like the books say, itt does feel like flutters or gas bubbles. I'm not always certain which it is, but I'm confident it's more baby than gas. Well, sometimes. Apparently, per Facebook and my damn husband, gas is a weird thing for me to mention in light of baby movement. BUT HELLO??!! I am going to turn that man's world upside down here pretty soon. I've tried to prepare him for the changes, but I think he's in for more than he's bargaining for. We'll see how it goes.
Not much else is going on. Lu and I are laying on my bed watching the Travel Channel, as it pertains to food right now. I was supposed to go work out, but then the weather turned a bit ugly with some storms rolling through, hence why Lu is allowed on my bed. Maybe we'll just chill, and I'll go three days off from the gym. Damn it. I've been SO good.
Speaking of the days, another week is drawing to a close, and boy did it seem to go fast. Tomorrow I'm meeting up with a friend, and hopefully with intermittent plans and shopping (eek), the days will continue to go by quickly. I'm excited. I can't wait to see Joe, and I can't wait for him to see me. Even if he does make jokes on Facebook about having a girlfriend. That's the douche that I miss and love.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Soap Box o' Hate
Or rather, this is just me being a bitch toward people who don't operate like I do. But, it's my blog. And I have a couple bones to pick. If you take offense, well, sorry...kind of.
First, I do NOTTTTTTTT understand this running straight to Facebook as soon as you find out you're pregnant. For God's sake, let it be special for just a minute before you start telling friends and strangers alike of your good news. Also, you don't know what can happen in those first early weeks. It is scary and a big deal. ACT LIKE IT. And, after the news is finally out, spare me the cutesy daily details of your cravings, what size the thing is now, etc etc. Have I talked about these things? Of course. Do I talk about them every day or every week? No. But I'd be happy to talk to you daily about the weird, less cutesy shit. Like how I almost still need tampons because of my epic nosebleeds. Or the whole "scare-eolos." Or anything to do with pooing. Because that's the reality of this, as the early-goers will soon discover. I hate rose-colored glasses, but I guess that's just me.
Second, I'm already hearing and reading about wives whose husbands have JUST LEFT regarding how much they "miss their best friends" already. Ya know what? I was sick and then BAD SICK here by myself for longer than your husbands have been gone. Really, a couple days or a couple weeks, and you're complaining already? Spare me. And do I know that there are folks who deploy for much longer than my husband? Absolutely. AND THAT'S WHY I DON'T BITCH ALL THE TIME ABOUT MY HUSBAND BEING GONE.
Whew, okay. Now I'm good. Well, sort of. It's supposed to be balls hot today - like mid to high 90's, and I am just not ready for that. I need to get my shit done early - gym and grocery store. And then hide inside during the heat of the day. Now, 'scuse me while I hydrate to prepare. Katie - OUT.
First, I do NOTTTTTTTT understand this running straight to Facebook as soon as you find out you're pregnant. For God's sake, let it be special for just a minute before you start telling friends and strangers alike of your good news. Also, you don't know what can happen in those first early weeks. It is scary and a big deal. ACT LIKE IT. And, after the news is finally out, spare me the cutesy daily details of your cravings, what size the thing is now, etc etc. Have I talked about these things? Of course. Do I talk about them every day or every week? No. But I'd be happy to talk to you daily about the weird, less cutesy shit. Like how I almost still need tampons because of my epic nosebleeds. Or the whole "scare-eolos." Or anything to do with pooing. Because that's the reality of this, as the early-goers will soon discover. I hate rose-colored glasses, but I guess that's just me.
Second, I'm already hearing and reading about wives whose husbands have JUST LEFT regarding how much they "miss their best friends" already. Ya know what? I was sick and then BAD SICK here by myself for longer than your husbands have been gone. Really, a couple days or a couple weeks, and you're complaining already? Spare me. And do I know that there are folks who deploy for much longer than my husband? Absolutely. AND THAT'S WHY I DON'T BITCH ALL THE TIME ABOUT MY HUSBAND BEING GONE.
Whew, okay. Now I'm good. Well, sort of. It's supposed to be balls hot today - like mid to high 90's, and I am just not ready for that. I need to get my shit done early - gym and grocery store. And then hide inside during the heat of the day. Now, 'scuse me while I hydrate to prepare. Katie - OUT.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Guess What?!
It's the end of the week!! Even though today tried to kill me via my attendance at the post-wide yard sale too damn early this morning, I made it to the end of Saturday. Another week down!
Tomorrow I have big plans to do nothing and hopefully not feel like death. Maybe just piddle around the house and get some odds and ends done. Tell you what I'm not doing. I'm not getting up ass-early to go be around a bunch of damn crazy people who think their world will end if they don't completely fill their pick-up trucks with bargains. Seriously, if I hadn't been having a massive nosebleed at the time, I would have taken a picture of this one pick-up. The bed was literally overflowing with crap the lady bought. A power-wheels corvette was hanging off the side. It was insane. She had moving van straps or something that she was going to try to secure everything with. So glad I didn't end up behind her on the way home. But I guess her Christmas shopping is done. Cuckoo.
Tomorrow I have big plans to do nothing and hopefully not feel like death. Maybe just piddle around the house and get some odds and ends done. Tell you what I'm not doing. I'm not getting up ass-early to go be around a bunch of damn crazy people who think their world will end if they don't completely fill their pick-up trucks with bargains. Seriously, if I hadn't been having a massive nosebleed at the time, I would have taken a picture of this one pick-up. The bed was literally overflowing with crap the lady bought. A power-wheels corvette was hanging off the side. It was insane. She had moving van straps or something that she was going to try to secure everything with. So glad I didn't end up behind her on the way home. But I guess her Christmas shopping is done. Cuckoo.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Tomorrow is FRIDAY!
It's still early in my pregnancy, though I'm almost halfway, but lots of gals seem to be already experiencing heartburn, which I don't really have...yet. That said, I would loooove some chips, salsa, and queso right now. I just read some food items on another blog, and man, I have a hankering now. Of course today was Cinco De Mayo, aka Thursday, as I had no plans, and ate Mexican twice last week. Now I'm wishing for the aforementioned food and to watch someone drink a margarita. Yeah.
I also wish I could show everyone my right boob. So beyond anything sensual (don't tell Joe), and more from a biological standpoint, the vein going on the side of it is intense right now. Granted veins all across my chest are more prominent, but this vein was so bright that I could almost not bare to look at it. Other than my body looking weird and getting bigger, not being able to sleep on my back or stomach, no booze or caffeine (makes me shake too much when I have it now), etc and still not feeling the baby moving, I really don't feel that pregnant right now. I shall enjoy this while it lasts. (The baby is alive, though, as I had my 20 week u/s last week at 18 wks, and all is normal and looking good.)
Finally, today was a good day. I had lunch with a friend, and then shopped a bit. Whoops. Took my motherhood maternity pants that I bought for $5 at a consignment shop to get tailored for only $13 - still a steal! Played with the dogs, and cleaned up the poop in the yard. Took a walk in the evening, and I finally remembered to pay the phone bill. The bad part of today is that Jan is back in the hospital for the third time in about a month. As you know, she has a neurological disorder, and things aren't great right now. Think good thoughts. Hopefully she starts feeling better quick and can go home. Still, tomorrow is Friday, and I think we can all be glad about that!
I also wish I could show everyone my right boob. So beyond anything sensual (don't tell Joe), and more from a biological standpoint, the vein going on the side of it is intense right now. Granted veins all across my chest are more prominent, but this vein was so bright that I could almost not bare to look at it. Other than my body looking weird and getting bigger, not being able to sleep on my back or stomach, no booze or caffeine (makes me shake too much when I have it now), etc and still not feeling the baby moving, I really don't feel that pregnant right now. I shall enjoy this while it lasts. (The baby is alive, though, as I had my 20 week u/s last week at 18 wks, and all is normal and looking good.)
Finally, today was a good day. I had lunch with a friend, and then shopped a bit. Whoops. Took my motherhood maternity pants that I bought for $5 at a consignment shop to get tailored for only $13 - still a steal! Played with the dogs, and cleaned up the poop in the yard. Took a walk in the evening, and I finally remembered to pay the phone bill. The bad part of today is that Jan is back in the hospital for the third time in about a month. As you know, she has a neurological disorder, and things aren't great right now. Think good thoughts. Hopefully she starts feeling better quick and can go home. Still, tomorrow is Friday, and I think we can all be glad about that!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Re-domestication
I just looked at my left arm and realized there is an extra long hair growing out of my long time mole. The hair is actually looped into a circle It's never done this before. Huh.
My arm hair discovery may be the most interesting thing that's happened today outside of my neighbor coming over with foil in her hair along with her son who showed me a picture of a headless snake. They wanted to know if the snake that got into my garage the other day looked like this headless one. Apparently the headless one in question ate the baby birds out of a nest under my neighbor's carport (well, before its head was chopped off). Horrible. No, the snake that got into my garage two days ago was straight black on top, not patterned. I'd just gotten home from a walk to see a mockingbird right at the entryway to my open garage. The bird was obviously angry, feet on ground and flailing its wings at something. As my vision adjusted, the bird was after a snake who was trying to seek refuge in my garage. Two other mockingbirds were posted on the neighbor's roof nearby, and they were clearly pissed as well. Perhaps this snake too had gone after some baby birds? Not a good idea with mockingbirds. I have a clear childhood memory of one of our cats being dive-bombed by mockingbirds, and since then I have known their fearlessness/rage. I could tell my garage snake wasn't poisonous and eventually shooed him out with a broom, as he was already on his way out though hesitant, still clearly in fear that the birds would return.
Aside from snake-clearing, I'm desperately trying to get back into a cleaning routine. I refuse to ever let Joe know exactly how I live when he is gone. Dishes pile up, the floors get disgusting, furniture becomes a place for dust-writing, the bathrooms - oh god, the bathrooms. It's just no good. However, now that I've heard he will not be extending, I really, happily, need to get back on the ball. So far, so good. I think I'm even going to re-caulk the guest bath tub. But then, why overshoot it?
With that, tomorrow is Thursday. Woohoo!!! Fly week, fly!!
My arm hair discovery may be the most interesting thing that's happened today outside of my neighbor coming over with foil in her hair along with her son who showed me a picture of a headless snake. They wanted to know if the snake that got into my garage the other day looked like this headless one. Apparently the headless one in question ate the baby birds out of a nest under my neighbor's carport (well, before its head was chopped off). Horrible. No, the snake that got into my garage two days ago was straight black on top, not patterned. I'd just gotten home from a walk to see a mockingbird right at the entryway to my open garage. The bird was obviously angry, feet on ground and flailing its wings at something. As my vision adjusted, the bird was after a snake who was trying to seek refuge in my garage. Two other mockingbirds were posted on the neighbor's roof nearby, and they were clearly pissed as well. Perhaps this snake too had gone after some baby birds? Not a good idea with mockingbirds. I have a clear childhood memory of one of our cats being dive-bombed by mockingbirds, and since then I have known their fearlessness/rage. I could tell my garage snake wasn't poisonous and eventually shooed him out with a broom, as he was already on his way out though hesitant, still clearly in fear that the birds would return.
Aside from snake-clearing, I'm desperately trying to get back into a cleaning routine. I refuse to ever let Joe know exactly how I live when he is gone. Dishes pile up, the floors get disgusting, furniture becomes a place for dust-writing, the bathrooms - oh god, the bathrooms. It's just no good. However, now that I've heard he will not be extending, I really, happily, need to get back on the ball. So far, so good. I think I'm even going to re-caulk the guest bath tub. But then, why overshoot it?
With that, tomorrow is Thursday. Woohoo!!! Fly week, fly!!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Downer Day
I'm glad today is over. It was so great to watch the news last night and hear the president say that we finally got Bin Laden. I was teary with such a pronounced victory, and while it won't end the war, it somehow made me feel like all this time away from my husband might be worth it. Ya know? But then today there was so much bickering and bitching (on Facebook which I should have just stayed away from) over whose president is better - Bush vs Obama and then to celebrate or not celebrate and blah blah blah. It seems the only time we can almost get along in this country is in tragedy. And even then, it's fleeting. Sure, diversity and differences in thinking make America what it is, but man, can we just cut out the bitching sometime?
Other than that, a snake got into the garage today, I walked, I cleaned, I laid around, and then finally I watched the damn Flyers lose in OT tonight. Bastards couldn't get it together. Oh well, tomorrow I'm having lunch with my BFF. It's also a gym day. Oh, and I need to get Mother's Day cards sent out. Shit, and I gotta pay rent. Tomorrow should be a pretty busy day, and then after Tuesday it's suddenly Wednesday. By Wednesday you can feel the rest of the week winding down. Thursday is trash day, and then BAM, Friday is the gateway to the weekend. One more week crossed off. And with that, I need to try and fashion some sort of happy email to my husband, who for the last several days sounds like he wants to off himself when we talk on the phone. Hooray, America!
Other than that, a snake got into the garage today, I walked, I cleaned, I laid around, and then finally I watched the damn Flyers lose in OT tonight. Bastards couldn't get it together. Oh well, tomorrow I'm having lunch with my BFF. It's also a gym day. Oh, and I need to get Mother's Day cards sent out. Shit, and I gotta pay rent. Tomorrow should be a pretty busy day, and then after Tuesday it's suddenly Wednesday. By Wednesday you can feel the rest of the week winding down. Thursday is trash day, and then BAM, Friday is the gateway to the weekend. One more week crossed off. And with that, I need to try and fashion some sort of happy email to my husband, who for the last several days sounds like he wants to off himself when we talk on the phone. Hooray, America!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Goodbye April!
It's a little early for me on this first day of May (yay!). Usually I get up about now to let the dogs out and then I lay back down for an hour or so. I have already been up to let them out, but was awakened prior to that even by the birds outside my window. After Dexter and (mostly) Lulu massacred three baby birds yesterday from two different nests, I'm pretty sure nature is pissed off. I know I was. I hate it when they kill things, and even more when I find them and have to dispose of them. Maybe I'm slightly emotional toward dead baby things. Uggh.
But anyway. I'm trying to make use of my time and have the Baby Plus already strapped to the front of me while I type this. It's starting to get really annoying, but I'm hoping my kid (still don't know what it is - waiting for Joe - could have found out at my formal u/s on Tues...ahhhhh) comes out a genius or something. Or, at the very least just doesn't cry all the time. So yes, if this Baby Plus with its series of loud beats against the outside of my stomach (uterus) for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening EVERY DAY until I deliver helps, then I'm for it. Also, I got it for free, so hell yeah.
I hardly write here anymore because it's usually a case of "same shit, different day." I'm not sure if my blog is fading out or if it'll pick back up after Joe's back. We'll see I guess. Speaking of him, some things have transpired, and we're starting to wonder if he won't be extended a couple weeks. Uggghhhh. No, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, but when you already have a time frame in mind, especially one that is rapidly approaching, ya just don't want to start slappin' on extra time. It's be best to just go ahead and know so we can both begin to wrap our heads around a letdown, but as usual, no one has any solid info one way or another. Shocker, right?
Last, I'll wrap this up with the storm stuff that happened last week. Here, where I am in GA, we hardly got even heavy rain, but just a few hours west and north of us got slammed, like wiped out as I'm sure you've seen on the news. I've donated a few things, but it feels like when there is such a great need, you can hardly do enough. What's been really beautiful, though, is watching and hearing about things coming together - people across the country really just doing the right thing. (Say what?! I know, right?) If you want to see for yourself, check out "Toomer's for Tuscaloosa" on Facebook and see how they're coordinating volunteers, supplies, etc. Toomer's is a big Auburn hang out....and Tuscaloosa is of course where U of AL is....big rivals that have united over disaster. That Toomer's page is probably kicking FEMA's butt right now with relief efforts. And they're not just coordinating for Tuscaloosa; it's all over. Check it out. It's proof that something good can come of something bad.
But anyway. I'm trying to make use of my time and have the Baby Plus already strapped to the front of me while I type this. It's starting to get really annoying, but I'm hoping my kid (still don't know what it is - waiting for Joe - could have found out at my formal u/s on Tues...ahhhhh) comes out a genius or something. Or, at the very least just doesn't cry all the time. So yes, if this Baby Plus with its series of loud beats against the outside of my stomach (uterus) for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening EVERY DAY until I deliver helps, then I'm for it. Also, I got it for free, so hell yeah.
I hardly write here anymore because it's usually a case of "same shit, different day." I'm not sure if my blog is fading out or if it'll pick back up after Joe's back. We'll see I guess. Speaking of him, some things have transpired, and we're starting to wonder if he won't be extended a couple weeks. Uggghhhh. No, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, but when you already have a time frame in mind, especially one that is rapidly approaching, ya just don't want to start slappin' on extra time. It's be best to just go ahead and know so we can both begin to wrap our heads around a letdown, but as usual, no one has any solid info one way or another. Shocker, right?
Last, I'll wrap this up with the storm stuff that happened last week. Here, where I am in GA, we hardly got even heavy rain, but just a few hours west and north of us got slammed, like wiped out as I'm sure you've seen on the news. I've donated a few things, but it feels like when there is such a great need, you can hardly do enough. What's been really beautiful, though, is watching and hearing about things coming together - people across the country really just doing the right thing. (Say what?! I know, right?) If you want to see for yourself, check out "Toomer's for Tuscaloosa" on Facebook and see how they're coordinating volunteers, supplies, etc. Toomer's is a big Auburn hang out....and Tuscaloosa is of course where U of AL is....big rivals that have united over disaster. That Toomer's page is probably kicking FEMA's butt right now with relief efforts. And they're not just coordinating for Tuscaloosa; it's all over. Check it out. It's proof that something good can come of something bad.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Day O' Funk
I think everyone had a kind of crappy last couple days with today bringing the funk to a head. I know there's been a full moon, and I even think it was a reddish color the other night. It's screwing us all up. Or something.
Well, I didn't sleep worth a damn last night. Couple hours on, couple hours off. Blow. Also, if I misspell or completely use the wrong word here, forgive me. I'm out of my mind. Truly. Goes to show that you shouldn't go to bed angry, even if it's about your grass. Yeah, sounds stupid; I know. It was more the principle of not getting help or the "help" making cutting my damn grass way more complicated than it should be. That's over now, though, because I have taken matters into my own hands.
First, I decided to just take the bag off and mow the front yard today. That made things much better, but it still sucks a bit on my back. The allergy mask isn't fun either. But, it's a good thing I was out there because I saw a little lawn crew drive past on the way to a neighbor's house. I literally pushed the mower to a stop, took my mask off, and walked out into the road, flagging them down. Pretty sure I scared them. I told them my situation and that I needed help. They offered to pull over and give me an estimate. I was so happy to get help that when they were parking, I had to quickly turn around because I started to tear up. It was just nice that someone I didn't know (who was actually busy on their way to a job) was willing to stop and help me out for a minute. Their estimate was very reasonable, and I'll be calling tomorrow to set things up. The guy even said I'd been doing a good job despite everything - very nice to hear. Plus, I could see them working on the lawn down the street, and they did a really nice job.
With just that one thing working out, everything seems a ton better. Tomorrow is a work out day, grocery day, and cleaning day. Of course, to vacuum, I need to get out the duct tape because the other day Dex (who is afraid of the vacuum) got his foot stuck in the cord, broke into a sprint out of fear, and literally shot the vacuum ten feet across the living room. That is, after it ricocheted off my left leg, which is healing now. Yes, everything is going really well. :-)
Well, I didn't sleep worth a damn last night. Couple hours on, couple hours off. Blow. Also, if I misspell or completely use the wrong word here, forgive me. I'm out of my mind. Truly. Goes to show that you shouldn't go to bed angry, even if it's about your grass. Yeah, sounds stupid; I know. It was more the principle of not getting help or the "help" making cutting my damn grass way more complicated than it should be. That's over now, though, because I have taken matters into my own hands.
First, I decided to just take the bag off and mow the front yard today. That made things much better, but it still sucks a bit on my back. The allergy mask isn't fun either. But, it's a good thing I was out there because I saw a little lawn crew drive past on the way to a neighbor's house. I literally pushed the mower to a stop, took my mask off, and walked out into the road, flagging them down. Pretty sure I scared them. I told them my situation and that I needed help. They offered to pull over and give me an estimate. I was so happy to get help that when they were parking, I had to quickly turn around because I started to tear up. It was just nice that someone I didn't know (who was actually busy on their way to a job) was willing to stop and help me out for a minute. Their estimate was very reasonable, and I'll be calling tomorrow to set things up. The guy even said I'd been doing a good job despite everything - very nice to hear. Plus, I could see them working on the lawn down the street, and they did a really nice job.
With just that one thing working out, everything seems a ton better. Tomorrow is a work out day, grocery day, and cleaning day. Of course, to vacuum, I need to get out the duct tape because the other day Dex (who is afraid of the vacuum) got his foot stuck in the cord, broke into a sprint out of fear, and literally shot the vacuum ten feet across the living room. That is, after it ricocheted off my left leg, which is healing now. Yes, everything is going really well. :-)
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
My Effffffing Lawn
So, I give up. Apparently trying to get my lawn mowed is like figuring out the national budget. Except it's not really that hard. At all. I'm pregnant, and it's a self-propelled lawn mower. It pretty much does the work itself. I could do it. The only problem I have is emptying the clippings bag. My back hurts because of sciatica (I'm working on that), and it causes me to strain the rest of my body when it's acting up and I have to lift something. And well that's not good.
Further, my husband is in an all.male.fucking.unit. Some are gone but some are home. And to date, I can't get my grass cut. I don't get this. Joe can't think of who else to ask, as his one good friend totally flaked out on me when he broke his phone over a drunken weekend. Then randomly texted me the next week after I'd already mowed asking if he could come over the next day and do it. Also, I asked a 12 or 13 year old neighbor boy if he wanted to help me and that I'd pay him. His stepdad told me it was his first time mowing (the day I saw him in his yard and asked for his help) and basically brushed me off from there. Maybe he didn't hear the part about my husband being gone or that I'm pregnant, and maybe what I should have told them both is that I started mowing when I was 12. And it was a push mower, a real one. And that I was a heck of a lot smaller than that boy. What a weenie.
Finally, some good fortune fell in my lap, and I got two offers of help. My neighbor said that her daughter (who is 12 and taller than I am now) wanted to help me with the yard and that she needed the volunteer hours for jr. national honor society. Right on, bring it on. However, when I tried to talk to her about when she'd be able to do it, it was very hard to get her to nail down a time. I mean, she's a 12 year old girl. Also, she has school during the week, and on the weekends, they go to the lake, so I don't think that's going to work out.
Then, this other guy from Joe's unit was ready to come over last week, though it was too soon to mow. He said to just let him know when I needed him, so I text him today saying that if he's still down to mow, the grass is ready whenever his schedule allows. He responds saying tomorrow after work will be fine. Then, a little bit ago, I get a text from his wife who says SHE will mow tomorrow because her husband is going to be busy after all. Then, she sends a final text saying just this "It's supposed to rain tomorrow." DAMN IT ALL. I never said it had to be tomorrow. Don't do it then if it's a problem or if it's going to rain. What is so hard about "when your schedule allows"?????? And why couldn't he text me back? Other wives text and call Joe for help when their husbands are gone. I'm not trying to steal her husband. I just want my fucking yard mowed. And I don't ever, ever ask for help until now. Hey, Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Biden, can your new initiative send me someone to mow my damn grass?!?!
But ya know what, I don't care anymore. I'm either going to hire some big name company and get ripped the hell off, or call some random person advertising on craigslist and probably be murdered. No thanks. OR, I take the bag off and just let clippings fall where they may, which is probably fine. It won't be as neat and clean, but what can ya do. The last option is to just let it grow and tell Joe I'm real sorry when he gets home and has to do it. I hate the last option; it's just crappy for Joe. I opt to mow without the bag. Middle finger, middle finger, middle finger.
Further, my husband is in an all.male.fucking.unit. Some are gone but some are home. And to date, I can't get my grass cut. I don't get this. Joe can't think of who else to ask, as his one good friend totally flaked out on me when he broke his phone over a drunken weekend. Then randomly texted me the next week after I'd already mowed asking if he could come over the next day and do it. Also, I asked a 12 or 13 year old neighbor boy if he wanted to help me and that I'd pay him. His stepdad told me it was his first time mowing (the day I saw him in his yard and asked for his help) and basically brushed me off from there. Maybe he didn't hear the part about my husband being gone or that I'm pregnant, and maybe what I should have told them both is that I started mowing when I was 12. And it was a push mower, a real one. And that I was a heck of a lot smaller than that boy. What a weenie.
Finally, some good fortune fell in my lap, and I got two offers of help. My neighbor said that her daughter (who is 12 and taller than I am now) wanted to help me with the yard and that she needed the volunteer hours for jr. national honor society. Right on, bring it on. However, when I tried to talk to her about when she'd be able to do it, it was very hard to get her to nail down a time. I mean, she's a 12 year old girl. Also, she has school during the week, and on the weekends, they go to the lake, so I don't think that's going to work out.
Then, this other guy from Joe's unit was ready to come over last week, though it was too soon to mow. He said to just let him know when I needed him, so I text him today saying that if he's still down to mow, the grass is ready whenever his schedule allows. He responds saying tomorrow after work will be fine. Then, a little bit ago, I get a text from his wife who says SHE will mow tomorrow because her husband is going to be busy after all. Then, she sends a final text saying just this "It's supposed to rain tomorrow." DAMN IT ALL. I never said it had to be tomorrow. Don't do it then if it's a problem or if it's going to rain. What is so hard about "when your schedule allows"?????? And why couldn't he text me back? Other wives text and call Joe for help when their husbands are gone. I'm not trying to steal her husband. I just want my fucking yard mowed. And I don't ever, ever ask for help until now. Hey, Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Biden, can your new initiative send me someone to mow my damn grass?!?!
But ya know what, I don't care anymore. I'm either going to hire some big name company and get ripped the hell off, or call some random person advertising on craigslist and probably be murdered. No thanks. OR, I take the bag off and just let clippings fall where they may, which is probably fine. It won't be as neat and clean, but what can ya do. The last option is to just let it grow and tell Joe I'm real sorry when he gets home and has to do it. I hate the last option; it's just crappy for Joe. I opt to mow without the bag. Middle finger, middle finger, middle finger.
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