Turtle Time

Dexter has taken to laying in our closet.  I'm not sure why, but he's in it right now.  Just laying there.  No doubt sad because Joe is asleep, which will be followed by Joe waking up and going to work.  Another long day with only his crappy mom around.  Dexter is such an ingrate.  

So, I'm less crazy today.  I appreciate what everyone wrote, and you were all correct.  It is nice to know that others have been in my shoes and felt the same way.  It all just gets a little overwhelming, but it is necessary to get it done (well, at least some of it - like the crib, diapers, etc).  A girl from high school just gave birth early at 33 weeks.  The health issues alone are enough to deal with, much less not having the baby's room set up or lacking other essentials.  Eeek.  33 weeks is just 8 weeks away for me.

Alas, though, I woke up feeling better about everything, and low and behold stuff came in the mail from the registry today that Dad and Jan sent me.  That happens to me all the damn time - freak out and then come to find that good things were going on behind the scenes all along.  I do think I have this weird, or rather I know I have this weird issue where I have it in my head that I will go it alone on things - won't get help and also won't need help.  But then secretly I want help.  This causes some sort of internal conflict which manifests itself into a small meltdown soon followed by evidence that indeed people are looking out for me.  Why can I never be secure in knowing my family will be there for me?  Why is it hard for me to admit that I enjoy their support?  I don't think I progressed the adolescent stage appropriately as a kid.  Eh, I'll social work myself later.  

Well anyway.  All that aside, I had a good workout today, drank a shit ton of water, and ate well.  Joe and I had a good evening together too, and tomorrow's his last work day of the week!  To celebrate, we'll be attending an un-medicated childbirth class.  Yeah!!  (Oh God.)