1. I CAN'T go to bed and not care where my cell phone. If there's an emergency, I'm the only one here.
2. I CAN get the place more cleaned up in the evenings because I don't have a narcoleptic passing out all over the house before I get the chance. (He usually won't go to bed without me.)
3. I CAN'T go ask strangers to turn their music down. Or at least I shouldn't because human trafficking is real. The other night the neighbor behind us was jamming in his house, and yet we could still feel it in ours. This had happened too many times by then and I was already having a painting meltdown, so we drove to the neighborhood behind ours and found the house. Before we left, Joe put on his big black with plain white letters "H & K" t-shirt. Yeah, it's a gun maker. Anyway. While I waited from the car to see if Joe would be shot on sight, he was greeted by a gentleman dressed in business attire to include a sweater vest. What? Joe told him that we lived "up the street" and that our "kids couldn't sleep" and asked the man to please turn his bass down. The man apologized, and they shook hands. No more bass.
4. I CAN find a noise violator's street address and return home to punch it into whitepage.com's "reverse look up." This will give me their names and phone number (if current and listed), so that I can then use my Skype phone on my computer (I pay the $2.99/mo to be able to call non-computers), which does not have a return phone number (shows "unavailable") to call my neighbor and anonymously ask him to turn it down. If all else fails there's always the cops, but that's a damn hassle.
Yeah, those are the big ones currently. Joe left today, and I am so terribly anxious for him. The pass rate for his training is kinda low, and a lot of people have to repeat certain parts. I know he can do it - everything just has to come together at the right time. The sleep deprivation is going to be the most difficult for him (I think) because he can just pass out at the drop of a hat. It may be a blessing that I work this weekend when he'll be home - he can just sleep and rest. Go Joey!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Quickie
Joe is still up preparing for a layout he has tomorrow, so I figured I'd write a quick post. I really want to read my book - Greg Iles' Blood Memory, but I know I'm so addicted that I may have to read for hours. It's what I've done the last two nights and consequently I can hardly get up in the mornings. It's just too good!!
I might have actually picked it up if I'd been in been at 9:30 like I thought I was going to be. Instead I realized there were 45 things that had to be done, amidst which I considered what laundry was available for tomorrow's work clothes. Then I realized that tomorrow is Thursday, not Wednesday and that I can wear jeans. I also realized that if today was Wednesday then I was supposed to take Lu to the vet for another dip. Damn it. I had Monday off, and it's apparently more than my brain could handle.
We're just scrambling around before Joe's next absence. Over our four day last weekend (yeah, they called him in both Friday and Monday, though not for full days...STILL), we got a shit ton of stuff done. It just feels good to take care of where we live and be doing it together. Home projects a go go. We also had a couple nice meals, explored a new-to-us park with the dogs, and dropped an ass of money for a paint project, new rug, and some patio furniture. It's good, though.
That said, Joe will definitely be leaving this Sunday, but then he damn comes back the next weekend (which I'll probably be working) only to then leave for another 10 weeks at least. I hate to sound callous, but let's rip off the band-aid. You go and get it done and then come home. Don't tease me after a week, especially when I'll most likely be working while you're at home without me. :-( Sad. But I'm proud as well. I haven't exactly said what his training is, but he kicked the shit out of a PT test for the opportunity. Noteworthy is that my 200 lb husband ran 5 miles in under 34 minutes. His push ups, sit ups, and pull ups were pretty doggone good too. Hopefully this is us moving on up! Helps to make it worth being without him again because as we've finally found our stride again, he's leaving.
Roller coaster. Of love.
I might have actually picked it up if I'd been in been at 9:30 like I thought I was going to be. Instead I realized there were 45 things that had to be done, amidst which I considered what laundry was available for tomorrow's work clothes. Then I realized that tomorrow is Thursday, not Wednesday and that I can wear jeans. I also realized that if today was Wednesday then I was supposed to take Lu to the vet for another dip. Damn it. I had Monday off, and it's apparently more than my brain could handle.
We're just scrambling around before Joe's next absence. Over our four day last weekend (yeah, they called him in both Friday and Monday, though not for full days...STILL), we got a shit ton of stuff done. It just feels good to take care of where we live and be doing it together. Home projects a go go. We also had a couple nice meals, explored a new-to-us park with the dogs, and dropped an ass of money for a paint project, new rug, and some patio furniture. It's good, though.
That said, Joe will definitely be leaving this Sunday, but then he damn comes back the next weekend (which I'll probably be working) only to then leave for another 10 weeks at least. I hate to sound callous, but let's rip off the band-aid. You go and get it done and then come home. Don't tease me after a week, especially when I'll most likely be working while you're at home without me. :-( Sad. But I'm proud as well. I haven't exactly said what his training is, but he kicked the shit out of a PT test for the opportunity. Noteworthy is that my 200 lb husband ran 5 miles in under 34 minutes. His push ups, sit ups, and pull ups were pretty doggone good too. Hopefully this is us moving on up! Helps to make it worth being without him again because as we've finally found our stride again, he's leaving.
Roller coaster. Of love.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
5...6...7.8.9.10. I Love You
It's been a minute since my last post. Whoops. I just want to give a shout out to all the folks that commented on it, and say I really appreciate what each of you wrote. It makes the "sharing" worth it, ya know? From folks who can empathize and understand exactly what's going on to others who just appreciate my honesty, thank you. Regarding my honesty...it's something I've always stuck with. Granted it's gotten me in trouble...a lot, especially with family, I still think it has served me well. Hell, it's who I am.
That said, it's been a blur since I last wrote. February is a short month of course, but it seems to be moving at warp speed. Things have gotten better. Joe and I (for the most part) are back in each others good graces. He's helping out around the house a lot more. Even if he shrank my jeans in the dryer, he was doing laundry, by god! It's a work in progress. Also, last Friday we had a snow day together! I write that happily, yes, but with much respect for all of you who have gotten more than your share this winter. Down here in good ol' west central Georgia, it usually doesn't snow. We just must be good luck, having gotten it two years in a row in a place that had no real memory of snow prior to 2008. The pups loved it, and Joe and I had a pretty epic snowball fight. I guess running around fearless in the snow had some sort of yankee effect on these southerners because no one came out and joined, and this neighborhood has a bunch of kids. One even watched us from his window. Weak.
Now here we are entering that four day weekend I told y'all we'd been given on account of that letter I wrote that was actually well-received. As it turns out, Joe still has to go in tomorrow (of course) to do a damn lay out and then go to an audiologist appointment. Sooo, it's basically a three-day weekend together. Oh well. They tried, just as I'd predicted quietly to myself, to take the whole thing away. Luckily Joe pointed out the fact that after I asked off, the other 1st shift worker got summoned to jury duty, so we pulled someone from the night shift to work in the day and the other hourly to work at night ALL SO I COULD HAVE OFF WHEN WE WERE TOLD WE COULD HAVE OFF TOGETHER. And that was the glue that kept this bitch sealed. Yes, you who offered us half days instead, you can suck it. You who didn't remember anything about this, you can suck it. You who is causing my husband to still come in while I deal with Ron the depressed bug man at 0930 tomorrow morning alone, YOU CAN REALLY SUCK IT.
What else is new? Oh, money update. My student loans now sit at $16,931 and some change. So that's awesome. If you've been tracking this journey with me, in part with my Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover, you'll know that I (we) have paid down about $12,000 since around last October. It's terribly exciting. Of course, though, when I consider the new(ish) car that I could have if it weren't for those damn loans, it puts a damper on the whole thing. Mmm. So I don't think about it. Go freedom!
Not a whole lot else except that some of the anti-malaria drugs Joe was RX'd upon his return home recently may be responsible for a lowered platelet count. I talked to an internist about it who did some research on the drugs and said fo' sho' - can permanently alter the blood. I guess it beats AIDS. Thanks, Army. For now, though, he's got enough to be good and can still attend his ass-kicking training according to his Army doc. We shall see. I'd hoped the Army would continue to monitor his blood, but Joe says his follow up will probably not occur until he is done with training. God, please do not let my husband bleed out in the woods. So help me, Susan will finally knit that ghillie suit, and I will hunt the rest of them. On that note, think good thoughts for Joey Walnuts and Happy Friday!!
That said, it's been a blur since I last wrote. February is a short month of course, but it seems to be moving at warp speed. Things have gotten better. Joe and I (for the most part) are back in each others good graces. He's helping out around the house a lot more. Even if he shrank my jeans in the dryer, he was doing laundry, by god! It's a work in progress. Also, last Friday we had a snow day together! I write that happily, yes, but with much respect for all of you who have gotten more than your share this winter. Down here in good ol' west central Georgia, it usually doesn't snow. We just must be good luck, having gotten it two years in a row in a place that had no real memory of snow prior to 2008. The pups loved it, and Joe and I had a pretty epic snowball fight. I guess running around fearless in the snow had some sort of yankee effect on these southerners because no one came out and joined, and this neighborhood has a bunch of kids. One even watched us from his window. Weak.
Now here we are entering that four day weekend I told y'all we'd been given on account of that letter I wrote that was actually well-received. As it turns out, Joe still has to go in tomorrow (of course) to do a damn lay out and then go to an audiologist appointment. Sooo, it's basically a three-day weekend together. Oh well. They tried, just as I'd predicted quietly to myself, to take the whole thing away. Luckily Joe pointed out the fact that after I asked off, the other 1st shift worker got summoned to jury duty, so we pulled someone from the night shift to work in the day and the other hourly to work at night ALL SO I COULD HAVE OFF WHEN WE WERE TOLD WE COULD HAVE OFF TOGETHER. And that was the glue that kept this bitch sealed. Yes, you who offered us half days instead, you can suck it. You who didn't remember anything about this, you can suck it. You who is causing my husband to still come in while I deal with Ron the depressed bug man at 0930 tomorrow morning alone, YOU CAN REALLY SUCK IT.
What else is new? Oh, money update. My student loans now sit at $16,931 and some change. So that's awesome. If you've been tracking this journey with me, in part with my Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover, you'll know that I (we) have paid down about $12,000 since around last October. It's terribly exciting. Of course, though, when I consider the new(ish) car that I could have if it weren't for those damn loans, it puts a damper on the whole thing. Mmm. So I don't think about it. Go freedom!
Not a whole lot else except that some of the anti-malaria drugs Joe was RX'd upon his return home recently may be responsible for a lowered platelet count. I talked to an internist about it who did some research on the drugs and said fo' sho' - can permanently alter the blood. I guess it beats AIDS. Thanks, Army. For now, though, he's got enough to be good and can still attend his ass-kicking training according to his Army doc. We shall see. I'd hoped the Army would continue to monitor his blood, but Joe says his follow up will probably not occur until he is done with training. God, please do not let my husband bleed out in the woods. So help me, Susan will finally knit that ghillie suit, and I will hunt the rest of them. On that note, think good thoughts for Joey Walnuts and Happy Friday!!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Weirdness
When I learned we were moving to Georgia, my first thought wasn't "Holy shit, it rains a lot there." But holy shit, it rains a lot here. The ground never dries, and my backyard sounds like you're walking on a sponge. It's gross. I've lived down here before - next door in South Carolina for the better part of a decade before I moved to Missouri. I do not remember rain like this. It sucks. It sucks even more when you have two young dogs. And it sucks the most when you have a husband who can finally help in the yard and other miscellaneous projects that require dry conditions like staining my antique desk or spray painting the old daybed. I'll be damned if every time we have a day off together it isn't raining. Shit, I thought we might even do something fun - hit a park or something, explore. No.
Truth be told, collaborating either for a project or recreation may not be the best idea right now. I think we're going through a growing pain. It seems I'm mad all the time because I want a husband who can be present when I want him present, and I want help around the house and to depend on someone. Blah blah blah. So then Joe gets mad because I'm mad all the time, and he starts lashing out - often without warning because much of his anger is repressed. It's starting to get weird this week in particular, and I find myself wanting more time alone, which is odd when 50% of our time in the last 2 years was spent apart. Maybe this is why: I have unrealistic expectations. Since I do everything in the times Joe is gone, I expect him to go above and beyond when he is home, which isn't possible with his job. While he's TDY or deployed, I actually save things to get help with - paint this, fix that, and it often doesn't get done upon his return. I also want help with the dogs, help with cleaning, help with dinner, etc. I want the damn princess treatment. Sometimes I do get help, and it's wonderful. But I think over the last couple years there's been such a deficit that I can never get enough. And I dwell on it. And it's poison. Girls, the fairytale will poison you. Especially if you're married to the military. Joe was telling me today that all the little things with his work consume his time and attention and that he is basically two people: Joe at work who is on top of everything, and Joe at home who can allow someone else to take care of things and provide support when he can. And you're probably thinking, "Well Katie, what did you think was going to happen?" Well, I thought that when he'd be home, he'd be home. My thinking was that when he'd be gone, I'd of course step up and take care of business, but step back down upon his return and have everything be wonderful. Um, I don't get to step back down. With that, I'm having to adjust my thoughts and ideas on this marriage. It's not easy. Naivety is a real bitch.
Ah, how I long for the days when I actually used to write about funny stuff.
Truth be told, collaborating either for a project or recreation may not be the best idea right now. I think we're going through a growing pain. It seems I'm mad all the time because I want a husband who can be present when I want him present, and I want help around the house and to depend on someone. Blah blah blah. So then Joe gets mad because I'm mad all the time, and he starts lashing out - often without warning because much of his anger is repressed. It's starting to get weird this week in particular, and I find myself wanting more time alone, which is odd when 50% of our time in the last 2 years was spent apart. Maybe this is why: I have unrealistic expectations. Since I do everything in the times Joe is gone, I expect him to go above and beyond when he is home, which isn't possible with his job. While he's TDY or deployed, I actually save things to get help with - paint this, fix that, and it often doesn't get done upon his return. I also want help with the dogs, help with cleaning, help with dinner, etc. I want the damn princess treatment. Sometimes I do get help, and it's wonderful. But I think over the last couple years there's been such a deficit that I can never get enough. And I dwell on it. And it's poison. Girls, the fairytale will poison you. Especially if you're married to the military. Joe was telling me today that all the little things with his work consume his time and attention and that he is basically two people: Joe at work who is on top of everything, and Joe at home who can allow someone else to take care of things and provide support when he can. And you're probably thinking, "Well Katie, what did you think was going to happen?" Well, I thought that when he'd be home, he'd be home. My thinking was that when he'd be gone, I'd of course step up and take care of business, but step back down upon his return and have everything be wonderful. Um, I don't get to step back down. With that, I'm having to adjust my thoughts and ideas on this marriage. It's not easy. Naivety is a real bitch.
Ah, how I long for the days when I actually used to write about funny stuff.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
"Is This Heaven?"
To which I responded, "No, no, this is West Central." I was trying to wake up a patient to begin her reassessment process when she awakened startled and asked if we were in heaven. The irony between her delusional thinking and reality was tremendous. Almost laughable. Work was good, though. I cannot complain about today.
Home was a little different. Joe and I have done that pecking/picking thing all night. God, I wanted to do bodily harm to him. Just butting heads the ennnnntire night. We usually do that to some degree in a joking fashion. But this was no joke. Eh, it'll happen from time to time, so oh well. Maybe next time his ass will be home in time to help me bag leaves before dark. Yard waste pick up is Friday, and tomorrow it's going to damn rain. He raked piles of leaves 2 weeks ago, and they are killing the grass. HELP ME, TOM CRUISE. Actually, come May I may get help from the best yard man I know. D. SHIZZLE. Yes, my dad may c'mon down for a visit with my stepmom - really for Arielle's graduation, but the South is the South. Might as well make the rounds.
Aside from my lack of a helper, I feel that things have been coming together lately - in small ways - but together nonetheless: My birth control pills finally came in the mail from Express Scripts (and my RX got switched to a supposed generic of what I was taking - but everything online about the drug says that what I was already taking was a generic of it and that this new stuff is way better), and because it's considered generic, it only cost me $3 for three months of pills. YES. Also, we can just about get our taxes done, as I'm waiting for my very last W2 to come in the mail. I did confirm that it was sent out Thursday. Hmm. It seemed like there was more stuff. There probably is, and I know a couple days ago I felt lighter. No more weight of a thousand loose ends tying me down. Even if Lu was diagnosed with puppy mange. Heck yeah.
Tomorrow is our last day of work for the week. We each have Friday off. Hallelujah. And we'd better damn get along during our three day weekend. I know there are a few things planned - a couple dinner invites and a Superbowl party. Not bad. I could have a drink or ten. Go booze!
Home was a little different. Joe and I have done that pecking/picking thing all night. God, I wanted to do bodily harm to him. Just butting heads the ennnnntire night. We usually do that to some degree in a joking fashion. But this was no joke. Eh, it'll happen from time to time, so oh well. Maybe next time his ass will be home in time to help me bag leaves before dark. Yard waste pick up is Friday, and tomorrow it's going to damn rain. He raked piles of leaves 2 weeks ago, and they are killing the grass. HELP ME, TOM CRUISE. Actually, come May I may get help from the best yard man I know. D. SHIZZLE. Yes, my dad may c'mon down for a visit with my stepmom - really for Arielle's graduation, but the South is the South. Might as well make the rounds.
Aside from my lack of a helper, I feel that things have been coming together lately - in small ways - but together nonetheless: My birth control pills finally came in the mail from Express Scripts (and my RX got switched to a supposed generic of what I was taking - but everything online about the drug says that what I was already taking was a generic of it and that this new stuff is way better), and because it's considered generic, it only cost me $3 for three months of pills. YES. Also, we can just about get our taxes done, as I'm waiting for my very last W2 to come in the mail. I did confirm that it was sent out Thursday. Hmm. It seemed like there was more stuff. There probably is, and I know a couple days ago I felt lighter. No more weight of a thousand loose ends tying me down. Even if Lu was diagnosed with puppy mange. Heck yeah.
Tomorrow is our last day of work for the week. We each have Friday off. Hallelujah. And we'd better damn get along during our three day weekend. I know there are a few things planned - a couple dinner invites and a Superbowl party. Not bad. I could have a drink or ten. Go booze!
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