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| 28weeks, 6 days |
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| Doesn't it kind of look fake? ;-) |
Post now or post later? I've become a little slack at posting in the evenings because I'm usually too tired, and lately I've been getting Joe to scratch my arm while we both read. But, he won't be home tonight - 24 hour staff duty. Still, I feel like writing now. I guess. Or may be this is just me putting off going to the gym.
The gym. As I've kind of written about before, I do (did?) pregnancy exercise (sets of three) circuits three times a week. My schedule's been a little off lately...pretty much since Joe got back, but it's been not much of anything for the last week and a half. Bleh. Now I'm ready to get back into it, but with these pressure changes in my belly, it's a little scary. I really think it's this girl balling up in there. I've written about it before - sometimes all across the lower part of my belly hardens, but then sometimes it's just on one side with a hard lump (a butt?). It doesn't hurt, but it kind of takes my breath away. Freaks me out. I'm sucking down water now, though, so I will go today. Since I'm in the third trimester now, I think I'll start doing just two sets of my circuit instead of three and maybe walk a little more. Gah, I hate walking on a treadmill, but it's too damn hot to walk outside unless I go at midnight. Oooh, or a yoga dvd maybe??
So it's just me and the pups for the rest of today and tonight. I'll sleep better knowing a 0415 alarm won't be going off in the AM. After it went off this morning, I was up for the next two hours, despite having slept really well over the weekend. And what a weekend it was. I spent a lot of it being pissed off at Joe and him freaking out in response. It was initially sparked by....you guessed it, the xbox. However, I hear it's pretty normal for pregnant ladies to start hating their spouses a bit by the third trimester for really not reason, and honestly, we've all been pretty shocked by my calmness up to this point. Still, I feel like however I act now is going to get me deemed crazy. See, twice or so now I've had these episodes in the car (while Joe drives) when I start getting "swimmy" headed and my pulse kind of goes out of whack. In both instances, I reclined the seat and laid back, taking deep breaths, and after a few minutes I was normal again. I've never had that before, so I mentioned it to my midwife at my last appointment. She immediately suggested it was a panic attack and told me I should talk to someone. Bitch, wasn't I trying to talk to YOU?? I mean before you tell me I need damn counseling, can we not talk for more than two-five minutes?
I'm of course not against counseling, but it pissed me off. When I used to meet with patients, I at least listened to them for a bit before I started throwing around intervention methods. Uggh. Then I found her telling me other things I'd talked to patients about - exercise, sleep, journaling. With that, I tried to insert some humor telling her I'm an MSW and actually worked a psych hospital for a while and that (with all this) I was flashing back to my own patients. Well, she just stared at me and asked if I was opposed. Fine. I went ahead and took her list of counselors, but I'm going to make it my last resort (not rule it out). I feel that if I can get back to exercising regularly and actually sleeping well, my ability to handle every day stressors will be much improved. I plan on actually using some of the Bradley Methods for relaxation for this as well, which of course will be used later when I'm pushing this kid out. Bottom line, I'm not happy about how this was handled by my midwife, who I'd really liked up to that point, and it has made me feel worse, paranoid that I'm crazy (even though I know better). What's up, though, is that she got orders to go to Ft. Bragg, so I'll likely never see her again. So much for continuity in services, but in this situation, I'm okay with that.
5 comments:
Go by your own instincts...you're stressed not nuts. Just read an article on "quiet" time benefits. (I think we all could use some) It's a form of relaxing by turning off the noise around us. Put yourself in a good mindset...TRY not to worry too much!
We may both be surprised by this comment, but I love your belly. :)
Pregnancy is a weird bird Katie. Things that aren't normal in any other capacity are completely normal in pregnant chicks. Even if the tightening IS a contraction, more than likely its a braxton hicks and they're harmless. If you were in active labor, there would be no doubt about it!
If you're worried just shoot a quick call into your midwife/OB.
The belly is precious!
RE: Nellie. Nellie is doing ok. Her whole world has been turned upside down. She's adjusting. She used to sleep in our bed, now its the crate. She used to be numero uno, now she's not. She's kind of timid sometimes because she's not sure what's acceptable around the babies. She's getting there though. We're extra sensitive to her, lots of "good girl"'s and petting. Its a HUGE adjustment for a pet. Have you guys started baby proofing your dogs? I'd wash some of her clothes and let them smell them. Let them go in her room and sniff around, etc.
Nellie is VERY concerned when people other than us are holding the babies. She sits a their feet closely watching every move. If the babies cry, she gets agitated and looks at us to make them stop. Its cute :)
oh my gosh your belly is so little & cute...and yeah it does look fake haha.
It's pretty shitty the way your midwife handled your talk. You're right, she could have at least listned for a bit before tossing you to someone else. I'm sure you'll be fine though. There are a ton of breathing exercises to help with panic attacks. My mom, lil bro & hubs have them and rarely take meds because of the breathing exercises :)
have you put on weight? damn, girl. intervention time. yes yes.
(what, i can't joke?)
if you need to talk to someone about panic attacks call me. you know, because i've called you over the past year with my shitty job and my panic attacks. the last one i had, i thought i was going to faint for real. i had to have a coworker sit with me in the lunch room "just in case" i actually went down and needed someone to go for help. thankfully, she also has panic attacks at work, so she didn't judge me.
friends are awesome.
call me if you're freaking out. xoxoxoxooxxoxoxo
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