Well, it's been a minute since I last wrote. Probably even more than seventeen. We've had a nice long weekend here, during which I took some time to reflect upon the last six months via this blog. GEEzus. I was a hot damn mess the whole time Joe was in RGR School. Why did any of you keep reading? I'm assuming it's because of my intermittent wit and charm. However, when I consider that I've since encountered other wives having a rough go of it too, combined with the fact that two relatives died during that time, as well as having been working at a state psychiatric hospital...well, I suppose I did okay. Kept my head above water, and sometimes that's all you can do.
We did have a good weekend here, though I think we both re-evaluated that statement after my neighbor was over here earlier asking skeptically if we like being at home. I think she has ridiculously long, busy days, and for a good 4-5 months of the year, they go to their lake house on the weekends. Um. After considering that our situations are incomparable, she probably can't understand that we do actually like being home together. Well...most of the time. We're usually just holding on for dear life until we're apart again. Thankfully, there hasn't been too much of that in the last couple months, but it's coming.
We did a little shopping, exercising, met up with some friends at the pond on post with all our dogs, napped, went to a park, and one evening found ourselves on the back patio having wine and cheese for dinner. It was a good time, but somehow amidst the booze we started the "kid" talk...again. It seemed like a good idea at the time, and we both got excited with the prospect. Joe admitted that he thinks about (having) kids a lot, possibly more than me, which was/is really endearing. And so, as we drained the bottle of wine, we started putting plans in place. But then I woke up the next day and was all WHAT THE FUCK?!! So. I don't really know where things stand now. Ha. We've had these talks before, usually without the booze, but if we'd stuck to one of the most recent plans, I would have gotten knocked up this summer. Our original plan was waiting until 30, which I'm still fine with, but with increasing awareness of potential fertility issues and miscarriages, we've started realizing that his may take a minute if at all. So while I freak out and think about how much a kid will cut into my TV time, I figure there's really no time we'll ever be 100% ready, eh? I mean, I'm not 16 and in high school. But man, I really like sleep.
Alas, what about the deal that I was to get a honeymoon before producing a child? My big Europe trip, yes. Well, with this increased security shit, how the hell am I supposed to enjoy myself on a trip like that? I'm not throwing down thousands of dollars to look over my shoulder the whole time, even with Joe's assurance that he can keep me safe. Have we met? Y'all know I have some pretty bad luck, and it would be something else to bitch about not having a honeymoon for three years only to be blown up once I finally got one. No thanks. We can save that trip for later, and go somewhere else for now. Hell, I'm really kind of just over it. Does this mean I am ready for a child? Is this a sign? Or is it just the terrorists winning?
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7 comments:
Like many things in life, when/if you get pregnant...just go with it! [smooch]
dude, yeah, things are crazy across the pond. i hope they settle down before my trip to Prague next year. can't get complacent!
I'm going through the same thing right now. Am I ready to have a baby, can I deal w/everything that comes with it, can my DVR handle all the show it'll have to record since I wont be able to watch them all the time? The hubs really wants to start trying but I'm a little uneasy about it & I've been taking my birth control like my life depended on it. Good luck in finding what you really want. I know deep down inside I want a baby but I just dont know if I only want one now because I'm afraid of getting closer to 30 & becoming infertile :(
Hope you don't mind if I throw my opinion in there on the whole baby issue. You will lose out on a crap load of sleep, you will miss all of your favorite tv shows, you won't be able to just up and leave when you feel like it, you and joe won't find a lot of alone time together, showering? yeah right. But none of that will matter. You will have something that means so much more than all of that. Your heart will be outside your body, and you won't have time to worry about whats happening on TV, because you'll be too worried about every little sound, and movement that your child makes. If you and Joe want to have a baby because you guys are BOTH ready to have your world flipped upside down, then do it. If not now, then talk about it again next month. You might change your mind. Plus, once you do get pregnant, you'll have 40 weeks to really prepare yourself.
Doesn't Helena rock? :)
Totally awesome, Helena. Thank you for your honest opinion; I do appreciate it. Were you scared at first? Or were you totally balls to the wall ready?
Lin, we're in the same boat, you and me. I too know that deep down inside I want a baby. I am both scared of waiting longer and not waiting long enough. Sigh.
I was ready to get pregnant, but I was terrified once it finally happened. Let me ask you something, and you don't have to put an answer on here, but think about it and talk about it with Joe. A couple weeks back when you took that pregnancy test, when you weren't feeling well, and it came back negative, how did you feel? Were you relieved? Or did you kind of have a sadness that you didn't expect? The more times we tried, and the more negative tests I got, the more I knew that I wanted to start a family with Justin. You're always going to have a reason to wait, and a reason to be scared, but you will never understand why those things go away until you have your baby. And, I don't know you very well. I read your posts and your FB updates, but I know without a doubt that you will be a fantastic mother. You have a passion for life, and a passion for everything you set your mind to. And you have a love for Joe that is beyond words. So, go spend some time with a few babies, and see what kind of things those mothers go through. Do you want that? Because even with all the puking, crying,and poopy diapers, there will be wet kisses, sweet giggles, and toothless smiles to make up for it.
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