From GA's Armpit to the Pimply Behind of AZ

Earlier when I was thinking about what I would write about in this blog, I decided to hit on three subjects, throwing in a quick fourth at the very beginning.  Now that I'm writing, I can only remember what the fourth one was.  No clue about the three main topics.  Hmm.

The fourth and now sole subject is regarding Joe.  I just wanted to tell you all, in case anyone was worried after my last post, that Joe can read this blog at any time.  It's not hidden.  In fact, I've encouraged him to read it in the past.  But he doesn't.  Still, what I wrote isn't anything I haven't already discussed with him.  Indeed, "in sickness and in health."  And to update you all, the gas is better now.  Because he didn't eat like shit this weekend!!!!

Now to make up some stuff to round out this blog.  

1.  I had to actually buy some clothes for Maddie this weekend.  More like place an order because there is shit in this town.  Ah, that was one of my three topics: this town (I title my posts after I've written them...and then add in these little tidbits after that).  But whatever.  I've never really bought Maddie clothes before.  A few things here or there, but we've always had a stockpile of new stuff other folks have bought or hand-me-downs that we were given.  I so wish we had more of the stockpile.  Buying new sucks, but I did find some good deals at kohls.com.  So much, though, that I almost couldn't stop.  It's like a sickness.  Alas, though, it's nice to buy her some stuff and not worry that she's going to puke (remember the reflux?) all over it.  Now, it's all what will still look good after strawberries have been smashed into it??

2.  This town.  Yeah, I almost cried when I couldn't find cannolis earlier.  I was willing to take some cheap ass grocery store cannolis but none of the stores carry them here.  Wha?  Which was the nail in the coffin for this place.  I took Columbus for granted.  Most everything I needed was a ten minute max drive away.  I didn't have to order crap from Kohl's because I could drive there in between Maddie's naps.  Now everything is a drive to Tucson, and granted it's only a little over an hour, it's still a little over a damn hour.  With a one year old, everything is a production, and riding in the car for more than five minutes is a feat some days.  And it's not just that I don't have stuff.  I don't want to sound like a city mouse; it's also that this town has no real personality.  It's just a shitty town that popped up after they put an Army post here.  The mountains are all it has going for it.  If they weren't here, I'd have already started self-harming.  They're beautiful, and at night, you can see lights moving around on them as the illegals/drug smugglers and Border Patrol play grab-ass together.  Charming.

3.  Fitness.  (I think that was one of my topics as well.)  I should have written last night when I was pumped up about it because today I didn't do anything (except housework, which is still moving), and then once I found my cannolis (three minis), I ate them.  Without apology.  I don't keep sweets in the house anymore, and if I want a treat or two over the weekend after a really good week of exercise and clean eating, then that's what I'm going to do.  I believe I got in 308 minutes of exercise this last week, so YEAH.

4.  My kid.  Yep, that was the third topic.  Instead of writing about my exercise stuff last night, I wrote about her.  But then I got tired and couldn't finish the post.  It seemed weird to post it today when the feeling of motherhood wasn't as intense.  It was a good, warm fuzzy post.  You really have to be in the right mood for that sort of thing.  I'll summarize here instead:

There is nothing like a new, tiny baby.  Such an overwhelming and frazzling love.  But, at a year old, the personality really starts to show.  It's becoming a lot more fun.  I've always loved this kid, but there are more moments of laughter now and just really seeing who she is becoming.  Just in little ways.  Like the ways in which she doesn't miss a beat.  The ways in which she screams a happy ear-piercing scream at the dinner table and then puts her finger in her own ear.  And just that she really, really likes us.  She has no reason to either.  She got stuck with us, and she's making the best of it, really.  Or in other words, she loves us unconditionally.  Mostly  For now.  She'll get older, and by god, there will be conditions (at least topically).  There kind of was a condition the other day when she fell off the couch while sitting right next to me.  I was trying like hell to look at something (not even FB) on the laptop and not paying as much attention to her as I should have been.  Wouldn't ya know she bailed off head first.  Even after she has practiced lowering herself feet first a zillion times.  I almost wonder if she reached for me an missed.  Cringe.  It took her a good half hour to warm back up to me, and that was both new and horrific.  Joe loved it, though.  For a fleeting moment, he was #1.  She laid on him (actually held still for five seconds) and let him love on her all the while having her gaze fixed on me.  She really was pissed at me, or maybe not even that.  It was almost more of hurt and broken trust.  Heartbreaking stuff.  But, so yeah, it's mostly unconditional love (except when I'm a bad parent), so for now, I'm going to soak up as much of this baby love as I can.