Washers, Water, and Assholes

Well.  I tried.  But I couldn't do it.  Though I used to never floss, I now cannot go to bed for one night without doing it.  I just can't stand having crud between my teeth.  I've come along way from the kid who used to refuse to even brush my teeth.  Yep, I passed the parental breath check by just putting some toothpaste on my tongue and swishing it around in my mouth.  Then I got a cavity.  Oh Maddie, learn from Mama's mistakes. 

I think this is going to be a ranting post.  And it's going to start with cloth diapers, which is going to seem like I'm speaking a different language, but bear with me.  So, when/if you cloth diaper your kids, you need three things:  a decent washer, decent water, and cloth diaper detergent.  In Georgia, I had all of those things, but here in Arizona, I have only ONE, and it is making me go slowly insane.  Why not just switch to "sposies"???  Because I can't.  I have used them on occasion when I've had to, but I can't do it just 'cuz.'  I cannot consistently contribute to 500 years worth of crap in a landfill.  I recycle.  I reuse, and damn it all, I am trying like hell to reduce.  The issues here are that the water is very hard and that the rental came with a HE front loading washer.  So, I have water that is super hard to get a lather in, and a washer that uses hardly any water.  Not a good combo for getting clean diapers.  I'm all for being green, but I want my diapers fully submerged in good sudsy water!  That's impossible right now, but I do use a special hard water formula cloth diaper detergent.  Guess what?  it has trouble with the idiot washer.  First, I battled stink issues with my inserts.  (I use "pocket" diapers, which are a shell shaped like disposables, but have a flap where you stuff in the inserts that absorb the pee.  Follow?)  What was happening was that I was getting detergent build up in my inserts (because of the washer's inability to properly rinse), and when that happens you get this bacteria thing going in those layers of fabric, which only gets worse when your kid actually pees into the inserts.  Then you have full blown ammonia.  And it is awful.  Your kid can even get ammonia burns from it, and I think Maddie did at one point.  Thank God for CJ's BUTTer.  Anyway.  You have to strip them to get all the crud.  I boiled mine, and after much manipulation with detergent (special ordered what I have now) and amounts and calgon (water softener) as well as manipulating my wash cycles to use the most water possible, I have kept it under control.

Alas, I thought my shells (the thing you stick the inserts in) were okay amidst all of my other issues.   I've been washing them separately and watching through the washer door, noting when there'd be no more suds and that the water was clear (properly rinsed).  However, those goddamn things started repelling water after the last wash, which I was kind of in denial about until this evening when Maddie seemed to pee through her sleeper, sleep sack, and all over the sheet.  This happened earlier too during naps today (though not as bad).  Well, I finally grabbed a shell from the basket and took it to the sink to flick some warm water on it.  It rolled right off, and I know that with the kind of material it is, it does need pressure to absorb.  So to be sure, I went and got the dirty diaper that Maddie had just peed through and pulled out the inserts.  The bottom one was just a little damp, not saturated like it should be for her to have peed all over everything.  SOOOOOOOOO.  Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.  Repelling too is caused by build up, so now I have my shells soaking in a hot water blue Dawn bath.  Because blue Dawn not only saves oil covered sea life, it saves cloth diapers too.  (You can't boil the shells, or they will melt.) Tomorrow I get to hand wash them, rinse them a zillion times, and then pray to jebus they no longer repel.  You're welcome, world. 

My other main issue right now also happens to be a bathroom issue.  More like a collateral damage bathroom issue.  I go to the bathroom just fine and have an average amount of BMs and flatulence.  Good to know, eh?  My husband on the other hand does not.  He has IBS, and I believe he also has Celiac's (can't process gluten...his grandmother has been formally diagnosed, and he seems to inherit all of her recessive genes).  He also has issues with dairy.  While I have cooked fairly healthy (and mindfully of his ailments) this week, Joe's work has been forcing him to eat out quite a bit.  No really, his boss hand fed him Olive Garden earlier today.  Shoved those raviolis right down his throat.  No wait.  That's now how that works.  They've had occasions to eat out, and Joe has made horrible choices.  And if you're all like 'Kate, give Joe a break, and let the man eat,' here is my issue:  he has horrible stomach cramps and gas THE WHOLE TIME HE IS AT HOME.  He tries to go to the bathroom and can't.  Just gas.  GAS GAS GAS.  AND WE HAVE GONE IN WAVES LIKE THIS OUR WHOLE MARRIAGE.  So much of the last 5-7 year, I have spent smelling shit.  I walk through a room, minding my business, and I hit a wall.  It's as if someone has soiled themselves right in the house.  I've even woken up in the middle of the night thinking that Joe has crapped the bed.  The smell wakes me up.  It's awful.  But it's not just about the smell.  It's also about how much time is spent in the bathroom.  He just sits in there, waiting.  I don't know his exact success rate, but I know it's inversely proportional to the time spent trying.  C'mon, man.  I just feel like if I had an illness like this, I would learn to cope with it the best way possible.  Of course there'd be days were I'd say the heck with it and eat an extra large bowl of pasta covered in cheese, but for the sake of my own well being, as well as that of my family and our cohabitation, I would stay the hell away from things that I know trigger me.  So Joe is sleeping on the couch tonight, not only because our bed is hurting the hell out of his back again, but because he has horrible, horrible gas.

That leads me to my final rant of the night:  We gotta get a new damn bed.  Do not ever, ever, EVER get a Serta.  I'm finally going to say it...  We spent $3000 on this mattress.  Yeah.  Because no big deal, it's gonna be a 20 year investment, right?  WRONG.  It is shit.  We could have spent that much and gotten a tempur-pedic right off the bat.  I'll be doing even more research this go-round.  Last time I thought we were doing well to test all the mattresses...laying on them...going home...coming back, continuing to narrow it.  I also thought getting a big name brand mattress was a safe bet.  WRONG AGAIN.  So, after not even four years, we have to do something, and I intend to research the hell out of it. 

Oh wait, I have one more rant.  Seriously.  Then I'm dunzo.  You know how the property manager from GA was going to refund me more of my deposit back and said he'd even return an extra amount that I did not ask for?  Well, if you didn't know, that was the deal.  The lawn care refund was $120, and then he was refunding me an extra $20.60 from something else.  For the record, I never asked for that $20.60, but I did not turn it down when it was offered.  I got my check in the mail today...for $120.  What's with the lip service, dick?  I sent him an email.  I didn't ask for the rest of the money; I simply let the man know that the amount he specified was not the amount received.  I didn't call him a liar, but men can easily be made to feel like liars.  And they hate that.  We'll see if I get the rest of what was promised to me.  If not, then he really is a damn liar. 

Whew.  So much better.  I'll soon update with more positive content.  Like how my kid is finally getting a tooth, making the baby dentures I was going to ask my sister for for Christmas no longer necessary.  Additionally, my fitness regime is going nicely, and I'd love to tell you more about it.  In the meantime, enjoy my aforementioned pain.