Xmas is Done; New Year is Here

I haven't written in weeks, but let's just cut to the chase.  Shit with the family has gone down.  Things with Joe's stepmom finally came to a head, and it was shocking.  We'd done Christmas, and all seemed to go well.  I had a little wine and put on a giant smile.  Was super polite, thanked her profusely for everything.  I may have bitched a little at my house, as she got a little assy when Joe asked the sister in laws to watch Maddie so we could go have an anniversary lunch a few days after Christmas.  But it all worked out, and my irritation passed.

Then this happened (a family member let us know that Wendy had posted this on FB):

The picture they commented on is of Maddie looking at Wendy, but not smiling.

Linda Rayburn She doesn't look happy......
Thursday at 3:42pm · Like
Wendy Williams Mulia Neither are her parents! I think it runs in her family unfortunately... I keep praying for them. She should be smiling all the time, like most kids her age....
Yesterday at 11:55am · Like
Alex Mulia Wendy, Maddie smiled the entire time I was there. I'm not sure why you would say that.

Yeah, she blasted us on FB in front of all to see, including family - all of Joe's siblings, grandmother, etc...seemingly out of the blue.  Alas, it turns out that she got mad that I "stormed" out of her house during a White Elephant Party.  Reality Check:  My kid was melting down, so I took her home.  That was it.  Still, whatever the reason for her anger, public family bashing should be off limits.  Keep that shit private and complain to your husband in the privacy of your own home.  Or in your mostly private blog that you keep hidden from everyone save a select few...yeah, I'm only half a hypocrite, right?  It's just a bunch of crap.  We have told her she's no longer welcome at our house, and it has just spiraled from there.  Joe's dad is a spineless bitch.  He just wants to not be in a fight with his wife, so doesn't really seem to be telling Wendy anything along the lines of "Look, babe, I love ya, but lay off my son and his family."  Easy, right?  NOOOOOOO. HARD, SO HARD.  

Parts of this have gotten pretty ugly.  Wendy and I engaged in an exchange of texts.  I know, I know.  I shouldn't have....but at the time I felt I had to.  Was doing the best I could after months of suppression.  I kept my blows above the belt, I think.  But she went after me, calling me a liar, hateful, mean, in need of a therapist.  She said that she should have listened to the rest of the family about me, especially her husband, and that there isn't any wonder why I can't make friends here.  She said Joe and I are perfect for each other since we're both so sad and miserable and that she hopes Maddie can still smile and be happy being raised in this environment.  

Okay.  I hate to admit it, but I let the bitch rattle me.  No one else (including me) thinks anything she said is true.  I know this, but you can't help but feel like you got punched in the gut when someone picks on you and your family, especially when that person is supposed to be  family.  It just sucks.  How can I get past this for Joe's sake?  I have no idea if I can, but he understands.  He's pretty pissed off too and honestly pretty crushed by his dad's inaction, or even empathy.  I have analyzed this from top to bottom.  Joe and I spent the better part of what should have been a nice long weekend in a haze trying to figure out what the hell just happened.  This just can't be real life, no?  

After wasting the weekend, I've decided that I'm not going to worry about this anymore.  Joe and I have both written out all our issues to them, and so far they've only responded to Joe.  It achieved nothing really, so I don't have a lot of hope that they'll come around to not being assholes.  And I have to be okay with that.  They are who they are and how they are.  I must now do what I gotta do to get back to normal, no more stupor, and be a good mom to my child and wife to my husband...and happy.  Happy that it is now 2013, and by summer we will likely live somewhere else!!  I also have to think about all the people who love us and have reached out to us.  We know we're okay, and if there are any doubts, we have a whole lot of people offering their support to help us keep the faith.  No one wins in a family battle, but I'm not going to worry about going point to point with Wendy and Mike anymore on all the issues.  They either see it or they don't.  A cow can't be a horse.

And so onward we go.  I'd be lying if I said I'll be able to just stop thinking about it all together at once, but with each day, this stupid stuff will be more and more distant, during which time I will be actively working on giving it less and less thought.  I'm going to let Joe handle whatever response we get next from them, and whatever that is, THIS WILL BE OKAY.  

Ugh.