OH EM GEE

I'm back.  I mean, I guess I'm back.  I was ready to shut this bitch down.  Things got too dark.  I couldn't even twist it into a humorous light.  It was just sucking, as evidenced by my previous post.  Alas, there is light now, and I didn't even have to be institutionalized or born again to find it.

1.  We're fucking moving away.  That's probably the best mood-stabilizer I could hope for.  Joe has a new job waiting for him in Missouri, which he starts formally June 19.  I was there this past weekend finding us a new rental, and man, the green, green grass is just my jam.  I can appreciate the desert landscape, but the colors of the midwest (or even the southeast) just soothe my soul.  The vibrant green grass against the blue, blue sky on my drive to the airport on Sunday was very confirming.  Like, yep, this is where I'm supposed to be (with my family).  So.  Suck it, Arizona.

2.  I've kept up the exercise.  Except for when I got a stomach virus...twice.  But other than that, I've kept it up for the most part.  I run about three times a week...maybe about 12-14 miles a week and strength train 2-3x/week.  I can fit in all my pants now, but I won't lie - getting norovirus (google that) helped knock some of that weight off.  But I've kept it off.  I'm even considering a half marathon the day before I turn 30.  Hmm.

3.  We've started eating really well.  Not just regular healthy stuff...but stuff that's local, stuff that isn't coated in pesticide, or full of preservatives.  Of course, I still eat those things on occasion, but for the last month, month and a half, we've been mostly on the wagon.  It all started with my pants still not fitting...  I tracked myself on www.myfitnesspal.com, and I was shocked at all much shit was in my "healthy" cereal and bread, etc, not to mention the crap in Maddie's snacks...dyes and artificial flavors....  I make my own bread now, as well as my own granola.  I'm not throwing cheerios full of sodium and preservatives at my kid anymore either.  I also started getting a farm box, shopping at a local co-op, and the farmer's market.  I'm turning into a hippy (ummm, sort of), and I'm loving it.  Gonna start composting as soon as we get to MO and hopefully garden there at some point.  Or just grow a really fabulous bright green lawn.  But yeah, it feels great to feed my family (and myself) really good food.

4.  Life is still life.  Maddie is growing well, but the toddler rage is real.  So real.  It's super easy to not know what the hell to do with your kid and start to lose your mind.  My girl is so headstrong and unafraid.  It's both a source of pride for me, as well as terror.  Additionally, she has fallen in love with her grandmother, Wendy.  Yes, that would be the gal I last wrote about as the family imploded.  We've reconciled.  They're still weirdos.  Not gonna lie, but we all get along.  However, it's still a bit of a stab that my kid will cry to get away from me and get to Wendy, the woman who said terrible things to me and said that Maddie wasn't a happy kid and that it was her parents' fault.  I've forgiven that, but I can't forget.  So anyway.  Someone told me today that Maddie will go through phases, but that I'll always be her mama.  Obvious, but something I needed to hear.  I could fill up the rest of this blog with my adventures in motherhood, but I'll spare you for now.

5.  Bottom line.  Life is getting better.  We've nearly completed our time in this black hole, and in another 6-7 weeks, we'll be on our way home.  We'll see if happy change brings happy (or at least my usual sarcastic) writing once more. 

6.  I'm not going to proofread this. 

7.  I lied.