Penis

Damn it. I'm trying to be open-minded toward the good things that did occur today versus becoming violently drunk over all the shit that went south.

I went to bed last night reading the DSM-IV after an encounter with a patient I couldn't stop thinking about. It was about 2330 when I passed out. Of course then at 0430 (just like every damn day except Wednesdays when it's 0400), Joe's alarm went off. I never really go back to sleep all that well after his alarm goes off. He kissed me goodbye at 0530ish and by 0730, Lu started up. Still it was good. Got up did the coffee thing, cereal, puppies, showered, and got the day rolling. I didn't end up going to work but I kicked ass around the house cleaning instead. Until I had to go run my errands: I picked up a movie for us to watch (500 Days of Summer), paid the rent (the only thing that went right), and then went to post. Because my idiot doctor didn't want me to have to pay $3 for three months of my Rx that I could get in the mail through Express Scripts, she referred me to the "free pharmacy" on post. The drive to post is worth more than $3 in gas alone, but whatever. I decided to try it. Not only did I have to call my script in like a week in advance, but when I got there today, every surviving veteran was there to get a script filled. It was like something from Beetle Juice. I got my number - 471 and looked up in time to see 432 being served. Panic. See, I had a plan to breeze by the pharmacy on my way to the commissary where I'd pick up the food for a dinner date at home with Joe - it was to be stuffed pork chops and noodles. With that, I waited about ten minutes to see all of three people served before I busted out and went to the commissary. More veterans. And they do not move quickly. I hope I don't seem unpatriotic, but when you're in a hurry, the old folks just don't move quickly, though I still respect the hell out of their commitment to country. Anyway. I flew through the commissary nearly knocking people over right and left. I raced back over to the PX pharmacy refill to find them serving #498 after the 35 minutes or so I was gone. I guess things had picked up. So I got my new number 521 and settled standing in a corner away from the two rows of chairs that were completely filled. I stood there for just a few minutes before this lady in her early sixties comes barreling in to stand against the wall in my corner. She commented about having twisted her leg, to which I replied that she needed a chair and pointed out a recently empty one. She said no and informed me that she had been cleaning all day. I nodded and maybe said "Oh." She then went on to tell me about the "retarded girl" her husband had brought home to try to help and that she'd had to kick retarded girl out. Yes, retarded girl tried to fight old lady and then old lady's husband tried to leave with retarded girl. Old lady laughs as she's telling me all this and keeps saying "He's not getting a divorce. NO divorce." She then went on to say that they got married 8 years ago, and it's the first time she's had insurance, so yeah, NO DIVORCE. And throughout this I am in my head SCREAMING WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK. I mean seriously if I wanted that kind of information thrown at me, I'd have gone to work!!!!! I think I almost had a panic attack as I couldn't figure out how to get away from this woman without hurting her feelings (obviously her support systems are complete shit), and I didn't want to be one more person to reject her. I stood there heart pounding, sweating, and willing the numbers over the p/u windows to change faster. Finally, it was my turn. One Rx - called in well in advance. Chick can't find it. Second chick can't find. Stuff is typed in computer. Chick goes in "back" to look for it. Second chick then finds it while she was looking for someone else's Rx. It was in the correct bin the whole time. I got my Rx, ran to my car, rocked gently as I banged my head into my steering wheel and wept.

By that time it was around 1615-1630, and Joe still wasn't off work. I really wanted him to get off in time to go to the park and take a damn walk and then cook with me. No. I went home and cleaned some more and waited to hear from Joe before starting dinner. I heard from him around 5:30, as he was just leaving. However, he was in a rental car (don't ask), and had to gas it up and air up a tire before returning it off post where I needed to pick him up. When I picked him up it was after six and nearly dark. No walk in the park with the dogs. No getting a minute to sit down and say hi if I was to cook. So we went and ate Thai food as I broached the subject of why in the hell I do every fucking thing around the house. It was constructive and things got better. So much in fact that we went for ice cream afterward. Upon getting home, Joe threw some clothes in the wash for his TDY tomorrow, and then we started the movie. Or tried, rather. The goddamn blu ray player said it cannot play the disc. Folks, we have already sent our Samsung amplifier (main hub from our home theater) back to the manufacturer through Geek Squad, our computer is hanging on by a damn thread, and now the flipping blu ray player (also Samsung) is being a douche? WTF? (Please not our Samsung TV is wonderful) So Joe updates the firmware on the brp, which takes about an hour for some reason and just now comes back to tell me the disc still won't play.

I had this whole date night idea in my head - light, cheery, good food, good movie, annnnd no dice. I don't even know what Joe is doing now, but I guess we're going to go to bed soon so we can be up and at Groom (transportation service that goes to Atlanta) by 0700. Fucking shit man. I guess I give up today. I at least got things dusted, vacuumed, dog stuff washed, and both bathrooms cleaned. Not bad for pretty much taking care of everything by myself. As usual. I work, make a substantial wage, manage the money, pay the bills, have us in a place to be realistically out of debt in 7 months, make dinner (though admittedly not every night), and genuinely want to have things nice for Joe. Damn it. I want a wife who wants these things for me. God knows when I come home from work on the weekends (because that's the only time I come home to anyone) Joe's playing damn video games. Uggh.