Stupid Work

I could not get positive about going back to work today. Yesterday, I had ideas about how to look at it differently, but they completely escaped me today. My lack of motivation (or LOM as they say in Ranger School) translated into me being fifteen minutes late and generally pissed off about being there all together. Then, as I walked up to the building one of the docs wheeled by in a golf cart telling me "Don't go in there. It's a mess. Go back to your car and go home." I told him that I fight the urge to everyday. But still I went in. It was a mess because the hospital is full and all other state psych hospitals are full, and we're having to pay a private hospital a shit ton of money to take our patients. Of course no one can nail down an SOP for this, so that's where the mess comes from. Whatever. Made it through. But not before this crazy bitch that works there basically told me that she didn't trust me because I am "playing games." Or something like that. Um. What really irks me about that is the very reason why I shouldn't even be bothered by this accusation and that is: I don't play games at work. I don't have time for them. And moreover, I do.not.care. My husband and everything here at home is my priority. I could give two shits about anyone's business there. I honestly do not care what people do as long as it doesn't cause me any problems. I go to work, keep my head down, do my job, and go home. Crazy delusional bitch is one of the most hated people at work, AND as is usually the case, she is the one always gossiping and gettin' in folks' business. I tell ya; I went over a year at this place staying away from drama. Why now? But trying to reason with someone who is delusional is about as useful as banging your head into the wall. So I just smiled and thought of her as a patient instead of a coworker. And THAT pretty much sums up my feelings about my place of work: my coworkers act like the damn patients. Usually worse.

So forget that place. After work I came home and assed around for a bit. I tried not to go totally slug and instead played with the pups out back before going for a walk/jog withOUT them. I went for about 30 minutes and worked up a good sweat. Felt great, even did some squats, adjusted push-ups, and a few sit-ups afterward. I'm trying to stay on this thing. Plus, I really do want to look hot for Joe at his graduation. More than looking it, I want to feel it. Eating better is helping. This is what I had today: For breakfast, I had my homemade muesli with strawberries, blueberries, and ground almonds on top. I had 1% milk to drink and coffee with a little 1/2&1/2 and 1% milk mixed in, as well as 1/2-1 tsp sugar. For lunch, I had a turkey and provolone (mad with 2% milk) sandwich on whole wheat with miracle whip and romaine lettuce. I also had an apple with peanut butter, a vanilla activia light, and a bite sized hershey's bar with some pretzel sticks. I drank only water throughout the day at work. As soon as I got home, I ate 3 oreos with some 1% milk. Then I had some more water. For dinner, I had a homemade burger on a whole wheat bun with tomato, romaine lettuce, ketchup, mustard, and a little mayo. I had a pickle on the side. Afterward, I had 3/4-1 C fresh sweet cherries. I think I had some more milk at dinner too. Last, I had a chocolate chip toffee oatmeal cookie with, yep, some more milk. But not a full glass each time. My total water intake for the day was only 32 oz. I need to double that. Anyhow. I can't give up sweets. I just can't. And I've cut back on the milk to being just enough to drink with whatever I'm eating. All and all my choices were decent. C'mon, hotness. Now if only I can get up and walk with the dogs tomorrow before work. Huh.