That said, I don't know entirely what this blog is going to become once I wrap up the birth story. I think it's going to just become an annoying mom blog. There's a lot of cool mom blogs, and I really enjoy reading them. But I don't think mine is going to be like that. I foresee a lot of bitching, as usual. I also figure I'll start being questioned whether or not I love or like my kid. Maybe since I don't feel like talking about Maddie's seven weeks of hospitalization right now, we'll just go ahead and lay the groundwork for what's to come.
I'm not the type of person who is real good about advertising 'happy.' People probably think I'm on the verge of divorce most of the time because of it. I've even had my marriage compared to others who were actually about to divorce because they thought we were so similar. Uh, no. Let me not confuse you: Like my marriage, my kid is awesome. Does she make me want to self-harm sometimes? Absolutely. But can I imagine life without her? Hell no. I just talk about the shitty stuff more so I feel better afterward and can better enjoy all the happy moments I fail to tell you about. Plus, the crap is usually more entertaining. But please know that I love my husband and my child, and I even like both of them most of the time.
That said, today was a shit storm. Good glory. A day where you literally can't put the kid down for five minutes without her screaming. She was up every couple hours last night, which meant I was too. I was prepared for a cranky baby, but not for one who wouldn't nap until now. On days like these I count the hours until Joe gets home, but he's doing a 24 hour shift through the night. Craaaaaaap. So it's just me...and Maddie. Dun dun duuuun. (And the dogs...they're still here.) Oh Jesus Christ she's already waking up...slept for less than thirty minutes. God, PLEASE LET HER SLEEP TONIGHT.
Let me close with this: Being a parent, even one with a supportive spouse, regular income, and insurance is REALLY, REALLY HARD. And that's with just one kid. Wait as long as you can. There's no good time to have a kid (some times are just better than others). Sleep as much as you can. Go out on dates as often as you can. Do any and everything you've ever wanted to do before you have a kid. Just don't wait too long. Start adding 18 years to your age...and you realize they're gonna be living with you up to that point. Gotta look at it from the front and the back. I wanna love them and then send them out into the world. Ya know?
But. When you do have kids, have fun with it. Or you will go insane.
2 comments:
I'm really looking forward to you super honest posts about life/motherhood. I always figured you were just venting when you wrote about your marriage. Ranting about the bad stuff always helps me think about all the good stuff I neglect so I get it.
Also, Maddie is one of the most adorable babies I've seen! Nicely done you two :) And thanks for the baby advice.
glad to know you don't hate Joe...just throw in a few nice things about him more often to keep people from pitying him too much, mmkay? i was going to ask if y'all were going to try to have another kid relatively close to Maddie. my guess would be no. :)
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