Bedtime Brain Dump

It finally hit me the other day that we are really going to have to start crackin' with the packin'.  Then I thought about how I can barely keep the house clean with Maddie in the picture.  Then I panicked that we'll have to live here forever, or until Maddie's old enough to help pack.  Of course we still don't yet know where we're going to go or what job Joe will or will not have.  A re-enlistment waiver is officially off the table, so the Army life is almost done for us.  He doesn't technically get out until late August, but he starts his terminal leave in just a couple weeks.  That means we could move when/if he finds something before August.  Going a completely different route, he's trying to get on with a veterans home loan outfit up in Columbia, MO, as a loan officer.  I think he really wants it, and luckily (or not luckily?) he has a friend on the inside.  We'll see what happens.  I have mixed feelings about going back to MO, but overall am excited about the prospect of something different from here.  Columbus feels stagnate.  I'll miss the people and some of the stuff, but change is needed. 

So onward and upward with the packing.  I guess I really need to make good use of her naps for now, and I finally feel ready to let friends who have offered to, watch her too.  It'll be easier too when Joe no longer goes to work.  I think I'll also have a yard sale.  Just throw our crap on the lawn and tell people to make an offer.  I'm ready to get rid of stuff.  For sure.  We'll also have to clean the house as we go and prepare to hand it back over the to realty folks/owner.  Hate that process. 

Also, I feel like we need to finally do some stuff here.  I've been wanting to go to Savannah for a while, as well as a nearby peach orchard, and up to Atlanta so Maddie can see the big aquarium.  I hope we can do some of that.  I can live without the peach orchard.  This may be the peach state, but South Carolina, or at least did when I was growing up there, produces more peaches than Georgia.  My dad worked half an hour from where we lived, and between our house and his work were multiple peach orchards.  He'd stop at a Sarah's Peaches (a road side stand) and bring home the best peaches ever.  Just a tid bit of my childhood for you there.  Anyway.  More than anything I want to see Maddie's face at the aquarium.  I think she'd love it.  Speaking of her face, I MUST order pictures from our latest session...due by the 14th.  Crud.

Sweet Maddie is good.  Her sleep's been a little off lately (teething?), which makes everything else a little off too.  But there are still these moments...  These moments where you feel like it's just too good.  I had one of these today when I watched Joe play peek a boo with her from behind the couch.  He'd pop up in one spot, then another, and she was belly laughing so hard.  It's really the best sound.  As a mother and wife, these moments are wonderful.  Probably doesn't get better.  And the thought of never having these moments again feels like a kick to the stomach - wind completely knocked out of you.  I can't fathom life without this man and this child (okay, sometimes without the man).  I asked Joe if he ever thinks about if something were to happen to Maddie, and we didn't have her anymore.  He said he tries very hard not to think about it, but it crosses his mind.  I guess that's normal.  At the other end of the spectrum, I think about her being older and her never being as happy with us as she is right now.  Enter the eye rolling teenager, or an adult with a family of her own.  Bah.  Oh kiddo, slow down.  My little preemie baby who was slow to grow is now growing too fast.  And may she steer clear of all the things Tina Fey mentioned in her poem...balconies and childhood diseases, etc.  Ah, parental neuroses.