A Beautiful Day Quickly Going Down the Tubes

Of course it could be worse, but relatively speaking, this day is really starting to kick my ass.

I'm in a wedding on March 7; you may have heard me talk about it. Anyway. I've recently become excited about Joe now being available to go with me, and I know I shouldn't have because today he found out he'll be on a six day endurance training through March 6. He said he'd try to get out of it, but I know the Army politics. It'll make him look bad if he does, despite the fact that he hasn't had leave other than for moving in fourteen months. And you might be thinking, well, the 6th is not the 7th. Two words: rehearsal dinner. I gotta be there, and for Joe to come the next day or late that night is just stupid. Two cars making a 9 hour drive round trip, not to mention that part of this sort of experience is getting to road trip together, etc. It's stupid. More stupidly, though, is that I fantasize (for lack for lack of a better word) about getting to be husband and wife publicly. I really, really want to be able to introduce my husband to all my old friends in SC. Like, I've played it out in my head a zillion times how awesome it'll be to be at the wedding together. I guess I need to resign myself to the fact that for the next 3.5 years, I may not be able to rely on Joe's presence. And that hurts. Deeply.

After hearing that news, I took the dog for a walk. I wait all day, give him every opportunity to go to the bathroom before we leave, and still he has to poop on the sidewalk mid-walk. Today, it was in someone's driveway, and another neighbor saw. Granted, I had a poo bag and cleaned it up, still, it confirmed the title of this entire blog. Then, when we got home, I noticed he'd picked up a kleenex from somewhere and had it hanging out of his mouth. I tried to take it from him, and he locked his jaw. I tried to pry his mouth open, and he gave me a low growl. When I went to get into position to put him in a submissive hold, I accidentally stepped on one of his paws, and he did the snarly bite and ran from me. Luckily, I stepped on his leash before he went far. He's serving time in his kennel right now, and I'm calming the hell down as well.

And so children, I learned that I do not get to attend a wedding function with my husband. I cleaned up very fresh dog poop from a driveway in front of an audience, and then carried the bag home with me. Last, I nearly got attacked by my own dog in my front yard.

Does anyone want to go dancing with a pretty girl on March 7th? Seriously.

Fuck it; I'm going to go make a cocktail.