Well, I've already splashed it on facebook, but I got a letter from Joe that was sort of less than happy. He's freaked out that he's not going to pass Florida Phase, and he wrote that to me. I think they have two Field Training Exercises in which they are put in positions of leadership - graded positions - and while in those positions they earn their "go" or "no go." Joe was never put in a graded position in the first FTX, so he was not able to earn his go. He said that very few people were - only 6 or 7 total got "go's." And thus, he is freaked the hell out. Now, I have to remind myself that he freaks out easily, especially when under stress. Also, he never gets his "go's" the first time - not once in this process. He always gets it in the end, though. Well, except for that one time. But whatever.
I haven't really allowed myself to think about an August graduation. I mean at this point we're within the damn week. If he gets recycled, and this goes on for another six weeks, I don't know what I'll do. There's no way to prepare yourself for this. No wife who loves her husband and enjoys his company can be "okay" with one last week apart being extended to six more, especially when throughout this process we can't count on anything. It is nerve-racking, and in many ways more so than a deployment. I try not to think about it, but then I'm at work thinking about that stuff, which is awful. I need something positive that I can look forward to and count on. And just the absence of something negative (quitting my job) isn't enough. DAMN IT.
Still, I gotta get ready for whatever is going to happen. I guess I gotta focus on the one person I can control - me - and do things for myself. I need to start working out again, but I just don't see that happening until I quit. Also, and I know this may seem an odd way to "take care" of myself, but I've been thinking about a tattoo for months now. Something beautiful that Joe said to me once that is very pertinent to our constant separation. Doesn't seem like there'd be a better time to brand myself with something like that. Nope. Hell, I may look into that tomorrow. I've been researching the parlors around here, and I think I found one I like. I guess I'll go alone. Why not? I do everything else that way.
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2 comments:
I say do it! I have one that I've been itching to get, I just haven't...yet!
I feel yah on the working out after I quit thing. I'm so ready to be on my own schedule and do what I want to do. I'm so stoked!
I hope Joe passes so that stress can be alleviated from your lives. And so you can be like a real married couple! Funny how the military does that to you! Have a great weekend!
I found that getting my tattoo was a cleansing experience...there was pain, but it was followed by beauty and a reminder of the experience and meaning of the artwork. i think a tattoo sounds like an amazing idea, baby. :)
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