Your Effect On Others

Lately I have been getting into genealogy stuff on my dad's side.  I spent three hours on the internet the other day going back further and further and just thinking it's so awesome to know where I came from.  Today, I got a family tree in the mail from Dad and that inspired me to dig further.  After a while I started to realize that I was forgetting what I'd learned a long time ago about my mother's side, the side I've always considered myself closer to.  At one point when I was probably middle school aged, I hoarded my maternal grandma's family tree.  I took good care of it, but then Ma or someone realized I had it and took it back.  So, tonight, I was trying to google Oma's parents, to no avail really.  Except for one thing.  This snippet from someone's myspace blog popped up to the effect of "Vera was born to Else and William Menning in Karlsruhe, Germany on Dec 14, 1933."  Well, that described Oma dead on, and my blood went cold.  I clicked on the link and found this:

Mama J, you will be missed

Current mood:sad

One of my favorite teachers in high school was "Mama J." She was my yearbook teacher all four years and she encouraged me to pursue photography and magazine design. I continued with the photography but never went further with the design. She had this high pitched voice, was caring and attentive, but was quick to make sure no one walked on her either. I have one of her little water colors... I wrote her several times after I graduated undergrad and graduate school, just to let her know what I was up to and that I wished her well and wanted to know how she was doing. I need to find that water color at home, frame it, and put it on the wall.
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MADISON — A Madison woman has died following a two-car collision on I-55 this week.
Vera M. Jaeger, 74, of Madison was transported to the University of Mississippi Medical Center where she died of multiple trauma from injuries sustained in the wreck Tuesday, Madison County Coroner Alex Breeland said.
The wreck had noon traffic backed up along I-55 north for more than an hour.
Jaeger's Toyota Camry was struck by an 18-wheeler driven by Michael Ongley, 50, of Morton, Ill., after Jaeger reportedly attempted to switch into one lane then jerked back to the other, according to a news release from Madison police.
Ongley was not injured.
Witnesses told police that it appeared Jaeger had passed the 18-wheeler, which was in the center lane. She attempted to enter the far right lane, but another vehicle was there, so she attempted to go back to the center lane, according to the release. Witnesses said it appeared she had overcompensated.
The third vehicle was not hit.
No charges have been filed in the wreck, but police said they would be investigating it.

Vera Menning Jaeger, Madison
Vera Menning "Billie" Jaeger, 73, a retired school teacher with Madison County Schools, died Tuesday, October 9, 2007 at University Medical Center in Jackson, Mississippi. Visitation is today at 1:00 p.m. at Ascension Lutheran Church in Jackson, Mississippi. Funeral services are 2:00 p.m. today at Ascension Lutheran Church in Jackson, Mississippi with burial in the Mark Seepe Crematorium, Jackson, Mississippi. Mark Seepe Funeral Directors & Crematorium in Jackson, Mississippi is handling the arrangements.
Vera was born in Karlsruhe, Germany, December 14, 1933 to Else and William Menning. She was a retired school teacher with Madison County Schools where she had taught computer programming, gifted student classes, and art. In addition to teaching high school computer, she was also a member of WRAMPS, a wildlife rescue organization, and was home to numerous "found" baby birds which she raised and released. After retiring, she began art classes and was a member of the Mississippi Artists Guild. She painted several canvases for friends and family, but never took money for any. She was a member of the Mystery Lover's Book Club and also attended water aerobic classes three times a week at Fitness Lady. She was a lifelong Lutheran and attended Ascension Lutheran Church, where she also sang in the choir.
Survivors include: daughters, Stephanie (Peter) Haddow of Madison, Patricia Jaeger of Salisbury, N.C., Susan (Mark) Crady of Titusville, Fla. and Barbara (Mike) Kent of Madison; grandchildren, Katherine and Arielle Shore, daughters of Stephanie; and Devon and Krysten Crady.
Published in the Clarion Ledger on 10/12/2007.

 * The wreck article had her age wrong - it's correct in the obit.  Also, her nickname was "Billie," as her middle name was Wilhelmina (prior to her maiden name taking over), which is the female form of William.  Hence, "Billie."

Ari and Oma in Kirksville, MO 2005 - my college graduation weekend.

Gahhhhhh.  I've been telling y'all how awesome she was, but to know that others, people who hadn't seen her in a while continued to feel the same way, there just aren't words.  Touches my heart.  I remember right after she died, just days later, the family was at restaurant in Ridgeland, MS, and in some roundabout way, we ended up telling the server about Oma.  Well, it turned out he had been one of her students, as had his roommate.  He immediately spoke highly of her and said he had to tell his friend because he had really liked her too.

I still miss Oma.  The hurt of losing never fully goes away.  It hits me out of the blue some days when I'm driving, and I still dream about her some nights.  I had a dream recently that I was standing in her old house hugging her tight, and as I looked over her shoulder at the house, everything was the way it used to be.  In the dream I knew that when I let go of her, it would all disappear.  I think I even told her that, and she just kept saying something along the lines of "But I'm free now; I'm free."

It makes me scared to think what it could feel like to lose someone else - a parent or my sister or my husband.  I always tell my family I love them, and whether Joe is home or deployed, I always additionally tell him "Be safe!" before we part.  But it also makes me consider what people continue to think about me and how I've treated them.  In my short time as a social worker, I do sometimes wonder if I really helped anyone.  I figure probably not many at the psych hospital, but I wonder how the teens I worked with briefly in Missouri are doing and if they gave a shit about anything I ever said to them.  In a professional capacity or not, I hope I can be kind and encourage people to be their best.  Hell, I hope I can be my best - probably the only way you can bring it out in others.  Go Oma.